The Sun Shines Brightly on This Sunday
by Gokudera J. Vie
Summary: Nakahara Chuuya is a 28-year-old single father of twins. He is successful man who leads a great life and has great friends. Nonetheless, he still feels like missing something.


I

The Routine of Nakahara Family

.

Chuuya woke up to silence. No chirps of birds, no buzz of the traffic, nor the laugh of his children. The only noise accompanying him was his rushed breathing. Glancing at the digital clock on his bed-side table, it was three in the morning. No wonder the children hadn't roused yet. Usually, they would always wake up earlier than Chuuya—or Chuuya later than them, to be exact—making racket and noises to wake their papa up.

Today was not quite the usual. Chuuya had been stirred by a dream of the past, about one man who had given him his most precious—the father of his children. It was not a dream, less a nightmare. One could name it nostalgia. One that Chuuya didn't entertain often.

Nothing would come out of reminiscing the past, not while he still had the present and a future.

Chuuya got up from his bed. Since he had gotten up so early, he better started the day earlier too. He walked through the dark hallway toward the kitchen. As he entered the destination, he flipped the switch near the door and instantly artificial light flooded the small room.

It was Chuuya's favorite room in the house since he could see sunrise from its window, although it had become a rarity for him due to his habit of waking up late. Thus he planned to use this opportunity thoroughly—facing the opened window, looking beyond the glasses, and waiting for the sun to rise.

Describing the room in clockwork, though, started from his right were a fridge and a shelf of plates and cutleries. Pinned to the refrigerator were colorful doodles in pastel, obviously crafted by over imaginative mind of kids. Right on the opposite of the door was a counter to prepare ingredients under the east window where the rising sun could be seen. Then on his left was a set of cooking equipments. Finally, in the center of the room was a dining table big enough for four people.

Chuuya gathered all the equipments and ingredients he needed, put them on the counter. Usually he would only make simple toast and bacon with salad due to the limited time, but since he woke up earlier today, he decided to put a little bit of effort and make more elaborated dish. After finishing all of the meal preparation with the only thing left was processing them, there were still a good ten minutes before sunrise. Chuuya switched off the light and opened the curtain draped over the window. There was a tint of red on the east horizon already.

The pitter-patter of footsteps came to Chuuya's ear before it stopped near. He turned around and found his children in the doorway, looking at him in surprise.

"Good morning, Atsushi, Ryuunosuke," Chuuya greeted them with a smile. "Want to enjoy the morning sun with me?"

The surprised looks morphed into delight before both came barreling to hug Chuuya. While quality time with their papa was not anything scarce, it was a rarity for them to enjoy a morning without being rushed.

"Good morning, Papa!" Atsushi greeted excitedly, followed consecutively by a calmer one from Ryuunosuke.

Atsushi and Ryuunosuke were the twins Chuuya had birthed seven years ago. His older one, Atsushi, was white-haired, easily excited yet also easily frightened, and as stubborn as his parents combined. On the other hand, the younger by minutes Ryuunosuke had a black hair which turned into white at certain length, and while calmer than his older brother, he was definitely no less stubborn.

Their white hair always made Chuuya wonder where they got it from, because as fas as he knew-which was not much considering both the twins biological parents were orphans without clear background—they didn't have such genetic inheritance. Chuuya had tried to get them examined and fortunately the doctor said that it was no more than harmless quirk.

 _Seven years_ , Chuuya contemplated. It meant eight years had passed since Chuuya left his hometown at the age of twenty.

A ray of sunlight distracted Chuuya from his musing, reminding him of the present. The sun had risen enough to light the small kitchen, giving color to the previously dull room. The twins had moved from his lap to the window—peering at the sunrise, or the morning birds that had arrived and started to chirp.

"Atsushi, Ryuu, how about you two take a bath while Papa prepares breakfast?" Chuuya got up from his seat. "So that we won't be late today?"

Atsushi and Ryuunosuke looked back at Chuuya with skeptical and judgmental looks. Couldn't blame them because Chuuya was the reason they were near late most of the days, refusing to be roused from his slumber at most morning—one of the reason why they were quite surprised to see Chuuya at the kitchen at the hour.

"Well, I woke up earlier than you two today," Chuuya huffed at the look he got.

Ryuunosuke rolled his eyes.

"Papa's so childish!" pointed Atsushi with a giggle.

"I am not!"

"You are!" Atsushi refused to back down.

"Not!" and the childish papa also refused to.

"We are going to be late again if we keep this pointless argument," Ryuunosuke broke the said pointless argument. "Come on, Atsushi. Let Papa cook."

Ryuunosuke caught Atsushi's hand and guided them forcefully to the bathroom.

Most of the time, the youngest was indeed the voice of reason in the house—the more level-headed individual compared to his papa and brother. Most of the time. Because while he looked all calm and detached, thus resulting on the image of being more mature and wise than his actual age, a trigger could change him for a hundred and eighty degree. This phenomenon also applied on Atsushi, as sweet and pacifist as he usually was, never got him angry or someone would be punched or bitten—Chuuya had personally experienced it.

With a sigh, Chuuya went back to prepare the breakfast. Any strange quirk his children had, from the mysterious white hair inheritance to the tendency of being annoying, he blamed the other father. The genetic quirk might an unreasonable accusation, but the other father indeed had personality disorder himself. Even if Chuuya loved him so much, Chuuya had no qualms calling him a creep. Hopefully the tendency didn't manifest too strongly on his children—one was handful enough in his experience, he didn't have a confidence to handle two.

The food had been ready even before the children finished their bath. As planned, today's delicacy was fairly simple—fried rice with sunny-side egg and octopus wiener as side-dishes—he didn't prepare any lunchbox as it was provided by school. By any means Chuuya was not a bad cook, in contrast, Chuuya was proud with his culinary skill. He had learned to cook since the age of seven polishing his culinary skill to acceptable level, which now he could be proud of since it enabled him to feed his babies healthy food—while he admitted he wasn't overly-concerned with nutritional balance, at least it was not junk food filled with _monosodium glutamate_ either. All because a _certain someone_ had complained and whined about wanting a pudding, and since then Chuuya would always complied to _his_ request—yes, Chuuya was talking about the other father, who else?

After cleaning the kitchen and arranging the dining table, Chuuya checked on them.

"Atsushi? Ryuu? Everything's alright?" Chuuya knocked on the closed bathroom's door. "Have you brushed your teeth?" he inquired further. "Do you need any help?"

"We are fine, Papa!" said the exasperated Ryuunosuke. "Just take a bath yourself or we will be late, _again_."

Chuuya frowned. His youngest child sure was mouthy. Chuuya was just worried!

"Yes, Papa should take a bath already," added Atsushi. "You take longer than both of us in the bath."

Scratch his previous statement, _both_ his children _were_ mouthy. Chuuya was pretty lenient in his parenting style, but maybe it was time to be a little stricter? Then he grimaced remembering his own childhood. He had already experienced worse. Okay, Chuuya admitted he had been a troublemaker. His children's level of deviance was tamer.

"Okay, okay! No need to be so snarky!"

At least, there, Chuuya reminded them that their developing personality was foul.

Chuuya went to his own bedroom that had an adjoining bathroom. Finished with the bath, he just took whatever clothes his hands got. The contents of Chuuya's closet were all fashionable, _so_ whatever clothes he randomly took out would look good on him—his random picking today resulted on grey turtleneck cashmere and jeans, draped by teal coat. In complement, he wore a pair of black heeled boots.

By the time Chuuya came back to the kitchen, the children had been waiting in their pristine school attires, patiently waiting for their father to start breakfast. Chuuya internally felt relief that he actually managed to teach them some manners, and how to wear their clothes nicely. As they finally started their breakfast, even though the food was not piping hot anymore, it was still warm.

# # #

"Oh my god," Chuuya groaned, thumping his head to the steer. "Why?"

Nakahara Chuuya, a twenty-eight years old single father, was sitting impatiently on driver-seat, waiting for the traffic to move—to think that it would be jammed when he had such important meeting with a client. Not to mention he needed to deliver his children to the school first. Like always, he wondered whether or not he had enough time.

Said children were casually playing with Chuuya's phone without a care in the backseat. They had been in the similar predicament so many times to be bothered.

Chuuya whimpered in envy.

In the middle of internal berating, his earphone informed him of incoming call.

"Papa, you got a call from Lucy," Atsushi clarified for him.

"Okay, thank you, Atsushi."

Chuuya tapped his earphone and his assistant's voice immediately greeted him.

"Good morning, Mr. Nakahara."

"Good morning, Lucy."

"I bet you are trapped in traffic again?"

Chuuya could imagine Lucy's brand of mocking clearly from the woman's tone of voice. "Yeah. _So_?" he answered, irritated.

"Just to remind you the appointment with Mr. Mori is in twenty minutes."

"I know!"

"I am not finished, Sir," his assistant chided. "Because I know you, I took the liberty of calling Mr. Hirotsu here today. And here he is," there was a voice of Hirotsu- _san_ saying hello in the background noise. " _So_ , you don't need to worry and just be careful on driving."

Chuuya sagged in relief. "Thank you, Lucy. And pass my thanks to Hirotsu- _san_ too, will you?"

"Understood, Sir," Lucy ended the call.

Even if Lucy's tone was full of smug, and rude, Chuuya couldn't be careless. His capable assistant had saved his business more time than Chuuya could count. That was important for Chuuya, and he was truly grateful to Lucy.

Chuuya worked in a boutique, or he owned it to be precise. _Rain in June_ , its name, was built around four years ago. _Rain in June_ was an associate of Hirotsu- _san_ 's _Black Camellia_. Unlike _Black Camellia_ that was intended for male customer, _Rain in June_ was dedicated for women's wear, especially dresses and wedding gowns.

It was such a long story toward this success from being Hirotsu- _san_ 's low-employee in _Black Camellia_.

Everything started eight years ago, yes, around the time Chuuya left his hometown, secretly kidnapping his best friend's twins that he carried in his womb. Wandering in an unknown town with decreasing finance and deteriorating health—only willpower keeping him together—Chuuya passed _Black Camellia_. The vacancy posted on the display window was Chuuya's light of hope.

Hirotsu- _san_ accepted him as an assistant—cleaning the shop, receiving call, managing appointment with customers, stocking equipment and material, or being delivery boy, and sometimes even helping with the accounting. Chuuya became anything the store needed at the day. Once Hirotsu- _san_ realized his condition though, he was completely relocated to deskjob. No labor works allowed, and working hours restriction was applied. Even though at that time Chuuya thought those were not necessary, he appreciated it nonetheless, as it gave him extra time to rest.

Anyway, that job vacancy on _Black Camellia_ 's window was his salvation and he was grateful to the kind Hirotsu- _san_ who had given him the key towards better life. He had a shelter—an apartment he was able to rent only after he got the job at _Black Camellia_ ; a job that helped him pay for his shelter and food nourishing his body, and health support—namely Doctor Yosano Akiko, who was introduced by Hirotsu- _san_ and the one who delivered his babies.

Even after the twins were born, Hirotsu- _san_ kept helping him. The old man leniently allowed him to work at the shop for three days out of a week—the maximum days Chuuya allowed himself to send the twins to child daycare—without cutting Chuuya's wage. In the opposite, Hirotsu- _san_ increased it. Whereas the rest of workdays in which Chuuya used for rearing the twins at home, Hirotsu- _san_ gave him some workload that could be done at home—from sewing ornaments to managing account book—that way, Chuuya kept his worth of job without feeling like feeding off of a charity.

Sometimes, when his workload was done and the twins slept soundly after getting their fill, Chuuya would use the time to sketch some clothes design, making use of his experience as a dropout fashion designer student. Two years after being hired by _Black Camellia_ , Chuuya nervously proposed his designs to Hirotsu- _san_ and suggested to open a branch orienting at women's wear.

"Isn't it your dream to have a boutique of yours truly? You should open it yourself, Chuuya- _kun_ ," was Hirotsu- _san_ 's answer at that time. "I will help you gathering funds. When you have saved enough, you should make it reality."

Chuuya worked extra hard after that. Of course he never neglected his children. He would rather neglect his dream instead of neglecting his children. Sometimes, Hirotsu - _san_ would recommend his work to his acquaintances and customers, and Chuuya did his best for those who trusted him enough to ask him to make their clothes. Two years later, _Rain in June_ was opened—one of his prides aside from the twins, but no one could beat the twins in his priority, of course—and his first customers from his time at _Black Camellia_ were now his loyal customers.

The underline, anyway, the vacancy job he saw that day brought Chuuya to where he was now. He had larger house—a good apartment where the family of three could live comfortably—and he could be with his children and cook for them every day and not three days out of a week, and his dream was realized. Chuuya was content.

 _Honk! Honk!_

Except for the fact that he was still stuck on traffic jam.

With a suffering sigh, Chuuya swiped the gear and pushed the gas-pedal. The car moved slowly and carefully forward only for several meters. Meanwhile, the twins were already bored of the phone and started talking about revenge plot against their certain classmate.

# # #

It was a miracle that Chuuya could safely deliver the children to their school on time, even though his arrival at the school's gate was immediately greeted by the glare of the twins' strict teacher, Mr. Hawthorne.

His meeting was a lost cause though.

Once he arrived at _Rain in June_ , greeted by Lucy and Hirotsu- _san_ , his client Mr. Mori Ogai had left already. Mr. Mori was one of Chuuya's earliest customers after _Rain in June_ 's grand opening and most profiting one at that—due to his habit of spoiling his daughter Ms. Elise with high quality frilly dresses. If not for Chuuya's ability to deliver the taste to the detail, Chuuya was convinced Mr. Mori would have left his patronage in consequence of Chuuya's breaking record of tardiness.

Chuuya had not always been like this. He swore he loved waking up early in his younger days. However, lately life had been quite demanding. How many times already had Lucy needed to call Hirotsu - _san_ in emergency of his stead? Chuuya was certain he had owed the old man quitea lot of favor even without counting his time in _Black Camellia_.

"I am sorry to call you here, Hirotsu- _san_ ," said Chuuya to the elderly man apologetically.

Hirotsu- _san_ sipped his tea calmly before answered, "It's fine, Chuuya- _kun_. Higuchi could manage _Black Camellia_ alone for just a few hours. I have considered you family, and family's duty is to help each other. Don't mind it."

"Still, I am very grateful. I need to repay you."

"Anyway!" Lucy interjected, entering the room with Chuuya's book of design and kind of threw the book to Chuuya's face before moving on to her own desk and sitting down—rude as always, why did Chuuya keep her again? "Mr. Nakahara, I think you should review Mr. Mori's new order instead of uselessly arguing about repayment. Mr. Hirotsu will be fine with your cooking, today is your weekly family dinner, right? Oh, don't forget you still need to finish Lady Fitzgerald's ball gown," she said while typing on her computer. Yeah, right, because she was capable.

"Lucy's right," quipped Hirotsu- _san_. "I will be waiting for you and the twins tonight with Higuchi, then. Just bring delicious food and good wine and all is good. Oh, will you join us tonight, Lucy?"

Lucy said no. She always said no.

The elderly man gotten up from his seat and reaching for his coat, hat, and cane. "Now, since you are here, I will be back to _Black Camellia_." Then, Hirotsu- _san_ left with a 'good luck, Chuuya- _kun_ '.

# # #

As per his routine, Chuuya would leave the store after three in the afternoon so that he could pick up the twins, leaving the store in Lucy's capable hand. Before he went to the school though, Chuuya pulled over to a nearby supermarket for a quick grocery shopping—both for the dinner with Hirotsu- _san_ tonight and to stock his own refrigerator. He decided to shop alone because who knew how long it would take if he took the kids and got distracted with their begging for candies and snacks.

Finished with the grocery shopping, Chuuya picked the kids up. They greeted him with a hug.

"How was school?" Chuuya asked behind steer-wheel.

"We got back at Steinback!" Atsushi informed proudly.

Ryuunosuke nodded approvingly to his brother in a rare agreement. Usually he would disapprove for the sake of being disapproving to his brother. It meant Steinback must have ticked them a lot.

Chuuya could only grimace. Hopefully it wouldn't call for parent-teacher meeting. Chuuya knew as a parent he should not encourage antagonistic behavior, but Chuuya was Chuuya, and his children were his children. Chuuya was not the type who backed down—and the other father was no better—of course the children would grow up as the type who pay injustice ten times they got. Maybe it was time for Chuuya to resign himself to his fate to be stuck with two carbon copies of a trouble incarnation.

"Well, good job on defending yourself," Chuuya praised. "But never abuse your power over other, okay! Bullying weaker people is not good."

"Of course!" Atsushi puffed his cheeks in offense. "I will never!"

"Good."

On the other hand …

"Yeah, yeah," Ryuunosuke said half-heartedly simply to humor Chuuya.

If Chuuya had not been driving, he would have pinched Ryuunosuke's cheek for that. Well, at least Chuuya had made sure that they would not hurt someone intentionally without reasons. Valid reasons.

"Anyway, we are going to Grandpa Hirotsu's place for dinner tonight," informed Chuuya. "Behave!"

In no time, they arrived at _Black Camellia_. Unlike Chuuya who had separate living place from _Rain in June_ —in order to protect the store from his children's grabby hands—Hirotsu- _san_ lived in the second floor of his boutique. Convenience was Hirotsu- _san_ 's reason.

"Don't touch any clothes, or any material," Chuuya warned the children once more when the three of them stepped out of the car. Even though they had been doing this family dinner _thing_ for years, Chuuya would remind his children every times. "Or I will leave you two with Lucy for the next Sunday."

Atsushi and Ryuunosuke's face immediately paled in horrors. It's not only their papa that cowered under Lucy's ruthless stare, the children had already tasted how miserable it was if they made Lucy angry. There was that one time when Chuuya brought the children on Sunday to _Rain in June_ and they ripped a custom ordered clothes, Lucy sat them down (made them kneel to be exact) in the office and stared at them dead on with judging eyes, and if the children dare to move even an inch, the ruler would smack the wooden desk in threatening manner. No physical punishment, of course, or Chuuya would come down like a god of war. Anyway, the children went home with numbing legs. And since then using Lucy as a threat would always work on the twins.

Chuuya knocked on _Black Camellia_ 's door and a blonde woman opened it.

Chuuya smiled. "Good evening, Higuchi."

Higuchi Ichiyou was Hirotsu- _san_ 's assistant who joined after Chuuya left _Black Camellia_ to handle _Rain in June_. Actually, Higuchi was Hirotsu- _san_ 's niece whom the old man recruited to be his caretaker, then forced to help at the store. Hirotsu- _san_ dodged the accusation of coercion within reason that he paid Higuchi for the work she did at the store.

"Good evening, Chuuya- _san_ ," Higuchi smiled back, as polite as ever. "Good evening, Ryuu- _chan_ and Atsushi- _chan_."

Oh, Higuchi also adored his children very much. Atsushi adored her back as much for every time she gave him candy—Chuuya thought he needed to reprimand Atsushi to be cautious, that it was okay to accept candies from Higuchi who was practically family, but it was another story if it was from stranger and he should refuse. Ryuunosuke didn't like Higuchi very much, maybe because Chuuya's youngest hated to be pampered, or maybe he just being extra-cautious in the behalf of Atsushi—everyone knew Atsushi needed a protector and it seemed Ryuunosuke had taken that role for himself.

And for Chuuya, well, Chuuya was neutral. The woman was hardworking and diligent, not to mention less strict and harsh compared to Chuuya's own assistant. Aside from that, Chuuya only saw Higuchi as Hirotsu- _san_ 's niece. That meant Chuuya's attitude toward Higuchi was no more than familiar politeness.

"Come in," invited Higuchi, opening the door wider. "What do you bring today, Chuuya- _san_?"

Without being ushered by Chuuya, the twins entered the building and immediately went to the second floor. Chuuya kept an eye on them in case they were being clumsy and knocked something—or themselves, it was not impossible—out.

"Hamburger and wine," answered Chuuya to Higuchi.

The wine was for Hirotsu- _san_ and Higuchi. Chuuya, the designated driver he was, and the children would only drink juice.

"That sounds wonderful!" Higuchi closed the door.

Together, Chuuya and Higuchi walked upstairs to join Hirotsu- _san_ and the twins who were already comfortable with each other—in front of the children, Hirotsu- _san_ took a persona of funny grandpa, so different from the elderly gentleman he always donned in front of his associate. As Hirotsu- _san_ entertained the twins, Higuchi and Chuuya went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, working together in silence with the voice of the twins and Hirotsu- _san_ as background. The meal was done in thirty minutes or so, right on time for dinner.

"Mori- _san_ told me this morning that Elise- _chan_ is coming down with flu," Hirotsu- _san_ opened a conversation in the middle of dinner, sipping his glass of wine. "It's this kind of season again. I hope Ryuu- _chan_ and Atsushi- _chan_ won't catch it. I know it will affect you badly too, right, Chuuya- _kun_?"

Chuuya put down his cutlery. "Thank you for worrying about us, Hirotsu- _san_ ," he smiled at the elderly, then turned to look at the twins fondly. "I will take precaution of keeping them from flu."

Hirotsu- _san_ nodded in satisfaction knowing his concern had been heard.

"I hope you take care of yourself too, Uncle Hirotsu," Higuchi joined the conversation. "If you catch flu, it will be bad for me too."

Hirotsu- _san_ blinked and pretended to not listen at Higuchi's nagging.

"Listen to her, Hirotsu- _san_ ," Chuuya joined the teasing. Well, he also wanted Hirotsu- _san_ to live healthily too.

All in all, the dinner was going nicely. It was not only their stomach that was full of food, Chuuya personally felt full of laugh, warmth, and happiness. At the end of the dinner season, Chuuya didn't stay longer since Higuchi refused his help to tidy up. As he was saying his goodbye to the hosts, the drowsy twins were barely standing straight so their papa needed to carry them both—even though Chuuya was small, he was quite strong, at least strong enough to carry both seven years old kids in his arms. And since Chuuya's arms were full, Higuchi sent him to the car—to help open the door of the car's back seat.

Chuuya drove home after saying his thanks for their hospitality and a goodbye to Higuchi.

As Chuuya drove, the street's neon lights passing in blur, he absentmindedly thought of _what if_. What if he had never left his hometown? What if he had decided to tell the other father about the twins? A lot more what if. Would the man he loved be sitting next to him right now? Would he be there holding his hands when Chuuya delivered the twins to this world? Chuuya would never know as it was something that had passed and his decision that had led him here could never be retracted.

Chuuya was sure of one thing though. There were some scenarios he would never entertain as _what if_. The moment he met the other father at their tender age, the moment he felt the first and only embrace in his life, the moment he realized there were two other pulses in his body. No matter what happened, those moments he never regretted, never wished to be treated as non-existent.

Chuuya's thought ended as the car pulled into the apartment's basement parking lot.

Years of driving experience enabled Chuuya to park smoothly, mindful of the still sleeping children on his backseat. Glancing at them from the rear-view mirror, Chuuya knew he needed to wake them up. It was impossible for him to carry both of them to the apartment from the basement, especially since Chuuya also needed to bring up the groceries from this afternoon shopping trip. So, Chuuya forced himself to wake the twins.

The twins blinked blearily.

"Let's go upstairs," Chuuya whispered at them.

They protested for being woken up, but still obediently climbed down the car. Atsushi took Chuuya's hand and Ryuunosuke took Atsushi's hand—Chuuya told the twins to hold each other's hand tightly—while Chuuya's other hand gripped the groceries bag. After taking the elevator, they arrived at their apartment's floor. Chuuya didn't switch the lamp on as they entered the threshold, knowing the light would wake the twins further and being woken up would make them grumpy.

It was not visible in the dark, but along the hallway was a row of framed photographs. Starting from the one nearest to the door was a photo of the twins' admittance to elementary school—Chuuya kneeling between the two of them—taken by another parent who was passing by. Next to that was the photo of the twins as babies—bundled up in their blue blanket with face all scrunched up—sleeping on their cot, taken by Chuuyahimself. There were also several individual photographs of Atsushi or Ryuunosuke, and the rest were photos of the twins and Chuuya together. However, there was an exception—a photo of two children around the age of eight, one with curly red hair, another with messy brown hair, both were wearing carefully crafted polite expression—put on a decorative table, side by side with the most recent photo of the smiling twins.

Chuuya didn't take any mind or special attention to the photographs as he put the shopping bag on the threshold—leaving it for later after he tended to the twins—and used both hands to guide his children through the hallway toward their bedroom. The row of photographs was such everyday view in their home and already a part of their life. Even the twins didn't question much about the divergent photograph, only because they already knew who were in the photo—Chuuya never kept a secret from his children, at least a secret that mattered.

In the bedroom, Chuuya immediately changed the twins' clothes into pajamas-he didn't need to make them brush their teeth since it had been done at Hirotsu- _san_ 's place. Chuuya then tucked them in their respective bed—righting their blanket's position and giving each of them a kiss on the forehead—before heading out of the room, closing the door as quietly as possible.

II

Hello, Chuuya

.

It was just another day for Nakahara Family. It was supposed to be. The twins woke up earlier than Chuuya as usual, and he was still being scolded by Lucy for many things from insignificant to important matters. But it was not the same only because of that one phone-call from Mr. Mori Ogai.

"Mr. Mori won't be here today because he needs to take care of Ms. Elise," informed Lucy, popping up at his office without knocking. "Instead his secretary will come and get the dress. He will be here after lunch hour."

"Okay," Chuuya responded absent-mindedly, busy with the newest design he needed to finish. Anyway, who cared whoever picked the clothes as long as Mr. Mori Ogai still paid for it.

Truthfully, it was not just another day even before the call came. It was Sunday, the day the twins could come to the boutique with Chuuya since they didn't have school. Talking about the twins, they were playing outside by themselves. Chuuya was not worried. He knew the children knew how to keep themselves safe. Not to mention he had Lucy as a secret babysitter as she could observe the children from her post—that was why Chuuya always told the twins to stay in the proximity.

Lucy left to her post in the front room after that, she had her own share of works that needed to be done. Once again Chuuya was engrossed on his work without disturbance.

Around lunch time, Atsushi and Ryuunosuke came in to Chuuya's office to remind him to eat. Actually, it was to remind him to feed them to be precise.

"Papa," Atsushi peeked from the door. "It's lunch time."

"Where is our food?" demanded Ryuunosuke, appearing behind Atsushi. "You can forget about eating and starve, but we don't want to starve with you, Papa."

Chuuya put down his pen, laid down his work so that he could focus on the twins. "You two resemble your father more and more each day," Chuuya complained in a loud grumble. "All of you care only for my cooking. When will you think about me?"

Chuuya tried to be as honest as possible about their family circumstances to the children. He didn't want to leave them in the dark and questioning why they only had one parent, showed them the pictures of their parents' childhood—like the one displayed on the hallway—and told them the story of their youth's mischief or everything Chuuya could think of about the long past.

"Mr. Hawthorne said apple falls not far from the tree," Atsushi responded to Chuuya's rhetoric with much seriousness.

The twins entered the office and headed to Chuuya's arm. Chuuya hauled them to his lap. They actually had become too big to sit on Chuuya's lap together—thank god they didn't inherit Chuuya's short gene, as much as Chuuya hated to acknowledge his height issue—but Chuuya loved to cuddle with them as long as he could. He bet that a year from now they—especially Ryuunosuke—would hate being pampered by their papa.

"It means that any children will have a lot of similarity with their parents," Ryuunosuke explained Atsushi's words. "Why are you complaining about things that are supposed to happen, Papa?"

"Because I want you two to resemble me more," Chuuya kissed their head, hiding his amused smile at how the twins thought he didn't know the law of genetic. "I am much better option than your stupid father."

Atsushi frowned. "You always call Father stupid," he stated. "If he was stupid, I don't want to be like him. I don't want to be stupid."

"He is smart, actually," Chuuya defended the other father by contradicting his own words. Well, the contradicting adjectives were both true, though.

Ryuunosuke scowled and pouted. "Make up your mind, Papa. Is Father stupid or smart?"

"Your father is smart. He can get hundred points in math test," Chuuya answered, smoothing the scowl Ryuunosuke was sporting with his fingers, the pout could stay because it was cute. "But you know how much a troublemaker he was in his childhood, right? Always picking a fight with upperclassmen and depended on me to rescue him."

"Then, then," Atsushi enthusiastically said. "We will get hundred points in math. But we promise to not make a trouble for you, Papa! We will even rescue a person in trouble like you! That way we can both be and not be like Father."

Chuuya was touched. He felt like tearing up, even as he was laughing at Ryuunosuke's additional comment about how rare it was for Atsushi to sprout up such intelligence. He was happy that even though the twins had never met their father before, only knowing him from photographs and Chuuya's full of bad-mouthing story-telling, they still wanted to be half of what made them—well, it took two to tango, so did creating babies—that there was a possibility that they would love the other father as Chuuya loved him.

As the children started to fight about who resembled whom best, Chuuya took that as a cue to usher them to lunch.

"Come on," Chuuya put them down from his lap. "Let's get lunch with Lucy."

Atsushi and Ryuunosuke stopped bickering once they heard the word associated with food. Yeah, definitely, like father like son, all of them loved food. Chuuya secretly chuckled in amusement as they followed him silently, imaginary tail wagging at the mention of food.

"Oh, there you are, Mr. Nakahara," Lucy appeared from the front room. "Mr. Mori's secretary is here."

The twins growled. Yes, both Ryuunosuke and Atsushi. No one should be in their way to food.

Lucy raised an eyebrow. "Should I tell him to wait while you feed the monsters?" she asked casually.

Chuuya shook his head. "No, I will meet him. Can you prepare the twins' food for me?"

"Sure," Lucy nodded.

"Thanks." Then he promptly explained to Lucy how to prepare the _kwetiaw_ he had cooked.

In the background of Lucy and Chuuya's conversation, the twins whined for being left alone with the witch.

"At least you won't be starved by the witch," Chuuya said to the twins after he finished giving Lucy instructions, patting Atsushi and ruffling his hair, then pinched Ryuunosuke's cheek.

Lucy did not even twitch a muscle being called as a witch, even adding a comment about fattening up the twins before she ate them—the twins ran into the kitchen with terror as the result. Beyond her stern façade, Lucy was always eager to entertain the twins, really.

Chuuya shook his head amusedly at their behavior. Then he left to greet the guest.

Chuuya wondered what kind of person Mr. Mori's secretary would be. As someone who could handle Mr. Mori's strange quirks and behavior, he must be a competent one. Maybe a man in their thirty to forty, old enough to be experienced but not too old to handle pressure, Chuuya speculated. As he entered the room, the secretary was standing with his back on Chuuya. Chuuya observed that the man was around 180 centimeter as he had similar height to the mannequin he was standing near to. The man also had wavy brown hair which reminded Chuuya a little to the twins' other father, and Chuuya was actually dreading the possibility that this man was _indeed_ the twins' other father, making him freeze in the doorway. He had never mistaken the other's figure, but he wished he was mistaken right now.

"Excuse me?" Chuuya carefully tried to get the man's attention, his heart beating faster, his palm clammy from cold sweat.

It was natural to feel nervous. It had been eight years after all.

The man turned and Chuuya paled because his fear was true. Standing in front of Chuuya, clear surprise in his gaze, was no other than Dazai Osamu. Chuuya could only grab the door-frame to steady himself because he felt like he was getting vertigo.

# # #

"Chuuya?" Dazai tilted his head in confusion, his voice full of disbelief.

If Chuuya was not busy keeping himself from screaming, he would laugh, because it was rare for Dazai to feel disoriented—out of his speculation and being thrown out of his plan—especially one that was caused by Chuuya. It was a shame Chuuya himself felt disoriented, and could do nothing but gripping the door frame tighter until his hand hurt. Chuuya was sure he would regret not laughing at this moment later. But let's leave later to later.

"Dazai," Chuuya greeted the man through gritted teeth. "It has been long time."

"Yes, nine years, I believe?" Dazai responded, still with the uncertainty in his voice.

"Eight," Chuuya corrected him, because he kept a calendar, kept on counting from the day they were leaving each other. "It's eight years. How have you been?"

"That should be my question. Quite successful, aren't you?"

"Talk about yourself," Chuuya encountered. "Being Mr. Mori's secretary should make quite a penny, right?"

Dazai scrunched his nose, in a manner similar to Ryuunosuke when the child showed distaste. Like father like son, Chuuya mused in bitter amusement. Between the twins, Ryuunosuke indeed resembled Dazai the most Chuuya guessed, being a penchant of troublemaker.

Chuuya let go of the door-frame as the world was no longer spinning. "Anyway, you are here for Ms. Elise's new clothes right?"

"Ah, you are right," Dazai answered cheerfully, all the wonder and confusion from before had vanished and the Mr. Perfect Chuuya knew from eight years ago was back. "Well, it was such a shock to see you as short as ever that I forgot about my errand."

"Huh? Who are you calling short, _waste of bandage_?"

Suddenly they were back to normal, picking up the attitude they had used toward each other from eight years ago, casually bickering as if they had not separated for years.

"Uncreative as ever, Chuu-ya," said Dazai in mocked disappointment, plopping down on a nearby couch—starting to act at his own home knowing Chuuya owned the place. _The nerve!_ "I am no longer wasting bandages, you know. You were there when I was out of my rebellious phase."

"You will always be a waste of bandage for me," retorted Chuuya, rummaging stacked boxes looking for the one containing Mr. Mori's order.

"Haven't you found it yet? Hurry up, Chuu-ya. I am busy," Dazai whined, and Chuuya was tempted to sock him with one of the boxes.

"Where did Lucy put it?" Chuuya muttered under his breath. Because damn if he didn't want Dazai to be gone already from his place.

It was eight _goddamn_ years! Chuuya knew that _if_ Dazai ever wanted to find him, he could and he would. Anytime, sooner, later, whenever. That man's brain was not mere decoration, as much as Chuuya liked to say otherwise. The surprise Dazai showed earlier was proof that his past infatuation didn't even make an effort to look for him, at all! Proving that Dazai could care less about him.

… and Chuuya hated himself for bearing a grudge over that. Because more than anyone, Chuuya knew Dazai. Chuuya knew Dazai didn't care for Chuuya from the start, not their friendship, nor their history, nor their one night stand. Everything was nothing for Dazai. The man said it himself on their separation day.

Chuuya knew, and he still let himself hope and wait, how stupid he could be? What a masochist.

And it was unfair of Chuuya to Dazai. In the first place, Chuuya was the one who refused to initiate contact with the childhood friend after their mutual separation. Chuuya was required to if he wanted to stay in touch with Dazai, as Dazai couldn't be counted for such decency, keeping contact that is. Chuuya was the one who withheld the information regarding the surprising predicament he was in, that the one night they shared together resulted on such _delightful_ consequences.

"Chuu-ya!" Dazai's whines increased in intensity.

"I give up!" Chuuya shouted in exasperation, throwing his hand to air. "Lucy! Lucy!"

Oh, how Chuuya really had forgotten about how annoying Dazai could be, and he was admittedly not ready for this as proven. As often as Chuuya acted childish and irritated, he never resorted to shouting. Chuuya hated shouting in anger because it would be a bad example for the children, or that's what was written in his parental guide book. For eight years without contact with Dazai, he was able to keep his flaring temperament in check and lived as a sweet and mild-tempered single-father. Unfortunately, the eight years worth of self-restraint was blown up just by meeting the man for five minutes and the flood-gate was opened.

"What happened, Mr. Nakahara?" Lucy asked as she entered the room.

"Where is Mr. Mori's package?" Chuuya asked through clenched jaw in an attempt to rein his emotion.

"As temperamental as always, Chuu-ya," Dazai tutted from behind."Oh, hello, Miss Montgomery."

Chuuya grinded his teeth. "You… shut up!" he hissed at Dazai. He turned back to Lucy and plead, "Just get Mr. Mori's package for Mr. Dazai."

Lucy didn't say anything, did not even look back and forth between Chuuya and Dazai which Chuuya knew she wanted to, and just obeyed Chuuya's words.

"Tch …, Chuuya's making a woman do a labor work for him," judged Dazai. Urgh, that vagabond. "How shameless."

Chuuya was going to shout. Again. But …,

"Oh!"

… All the anger drowned out of him when he heard the simultaneous exclamation of surprise from his twins. As Chuuya turned around toward the entrance of the room, he saw the twins peeking from the doorway, looking at Dazai in half-wonder and surprise. Chuuya assumed they came because the separation from food was taking too long, whereas in exchange they found the father their papa liked to tell them.

"Oh?" Dazai craned his body so he could see the figures blocked by Chuuya's body. "Whose children are they?"

Chuuya hated this particular Sunday.

# # #

Atsushi and Ryuunosuke ran to Chuuya and hide behind his legs, scrutinizing Dazai with analytical gazes. Dazai, a man-child that he was, stared at the twins analytically back.

Lucy came back with a package in his hand. "Mr. Nakahara," she called cautiously.

Chuuya cursed himself. The package in Lucy's hand had been in his hand at least twice when he was looking for it. No, scratch that, Chuuya was going to damn Dazai. Why should he curse himself if he had Dazai to be cursed? The vagabond had literally ruined his day.

"Thank you, Lucy," Chuuya accepted the package with a sigh. "Could you take the twins back to the kitchen with you—ouch!"

Atsushi just pinched his leg. Looking down, the twins were glaring dagger at him. Now, Chuuya started to regret ever telling them about their father.

"Well, the monsters don't want to leave, it seems," commented Lucy. Then the red-haired woman took a step closer to Chuuya and whispered, "Should we close the store early? We don't have any appointment after this. I don't know what happened, but I think you have worn yourself out."

Ah, Chuuya really was lucky to have such a perceptive assistant.

"No need," Chuuya whispered back. Because Dazai's going to leave as soon as Chuuya could force him to and everything would be back to normal.

From his peripheral, Chuuya saw Dazai was glaring at him. What?

Lucy took a step back and shrugged. "Excuse me then, Mr. Nakahara, Mr. Dazai," then she left the room, giving privacy for the recently reunited family. Not that Lucy or Dazai knew that it was a family reunion.

"Here's Mr. Mori's package!" Chuuya shoved the box to the still-seated Dazai.

Dazai accepted the package without thanks. "Anyway, you haven't answered me. Are they your children, Chuuya? I didn't know you're married."

"You know nothing about me."

Dazai hummed. "I am your childhood friend, though. I know enough?"

"Doesn't mean you know everything about me," Chuuya said sharply. Then, he sighed when he felt sharp tugs at his pants. The twins had become impatient to know their father. "Anyway, these are my children, Atsushi and Ryuunosuke. Atsushi, Ryuunosuke, this is my not-friend Dazai Osamu, the two of you don't need to greet him."

Three simultaneous clicks of tongue were the respond Chuuya got for his rude introduction. Nice, now even the twins were in tandem with Dazai. Maybe he should dump the twins to the waste of bandage? Or not. Chuuya was not that heartless to leave a child, especially his, with Dazai. It was equal of killing them slowly. Dazai couldn't be counted on to take care of living being, either plant, pets, and especially humans.

"Papa, don't be rude!" Atsushi chided. Ah, Chuuya had raised him right.

"And _you_ always tell us to be polite?" Ryuunosuke supported his brother. Where in the world did his children learn to be so sarcastic? As long as Ryuunosuke would use it to roast Dazai too someday though, Chuuya still thought he raised him right.

"Listen to your children, Chuuya. Even they are smarter than you, huh?"

Chuuya glared at Dazai for bad-mouthing him in front of his own children, conveniently forgetting that he used to—and still—do the same about the other, before focusing back on his twins and softly told them, "Papa is not rude, Atsushi, Ryuu. But Mr. Dazai needs to go soon or he will be fired by his employer. He doesn't have time to socialize. It was not in his planner."

"I hate to admit it, but Chuuya is right," Dazai said, making the twins pout at the negative confirmation. The brown-haired man then stood up from his chair, the package nestled in his arms, and Chuuya wanted to slap himself—for imagining Dazai to be there when the twins were babies and held them in his arms. He had promised himself to be done with the ' _what If_. "I need to be back now or I will be fired by my employer. So, how about dinner tomorrow? We need to catch up, and I missed Chuuya's cooking."

Chuuya snorted in disbelief, pulled the twins closer by shoulder as precaution—squeezing their shoulder as a warning to keep silent and not interfering with whatever Chuuya wanted to say after this.

"As confident as ever, huh, Dazai? Don't be so presumptuous. Why do you think I want to feed you?"

He felt the twins ready to protest. They were that eager to know their Father. But Chuuya warned them again. Even though they knew their father, their father knew nothing about them. Even if they could accept this kind of father, it was not necessarily mutual for Dazai to accept them.

"Ooohh! You call me Dazai again without formality," Dazai clapped his hand obnoxiously.

Chuuya wanted to tell the twins, _"Look children, this is the kind of person your father is. Obnoxious and annoying, isn't he?"_ But he refrained. After all, who was asking the children to love the bandaged bastard all this time? None other than Chuuya. But, well, Chuuya's feeling was complicated. His head was in a mess from such unexpected development of situation.

Chuuya pretended to be annoyed by Dazai's antics, instead. He was really annoyed at Dazai, though. "Just go already!" he snapped.

"Well, why don't you lead the way, Chuu-ya?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes and half-heartedly sent Dazai to the front of the store, where Dazai's sleek sport car had been parked—which Chuuya gave a side-eye—because Dazai wouldn't go away if Chuuya didn't comply. Atsushi and Ryuunosuke followed them from behind, like ducklings following their mother.

"Chuuya," Dazai said, his tone oddly serious, while depositing the package to passenger seat. "Please reconsider my dinner offer. We really have a lot to talk about, you know."

Chuuya's body went rigid. Oh, didn't he know. There was that problem from eight years ago. Then there were consequences of that problem eight years ago—trailing behind him like adorable ducklings—not that Dazai was aware of this one. But, yes, definitely a lot to talk about.

Closing the passenger seat's door, Dazai turned to Chuuya. Body relaxed, leaning against the closed door of his car. "Don't you want to know what I had been up to in these eight years?" he asked cheerfully, negating the previous serious atmosphere. Yet Chuuya could see that Dazai's gaze was still insisting on that catch-up dinner.

Chuuya gnawed his lips, measuring his options. Then he sighed heavily. "Fine," he agreed—he could never refuse Dazai in the first place—combing his hair in exasperation, and he swore he could hear the internal cheers of three different individuals.

Dazai smiled beatifically instead. "Well, see you tomorrow, then?"

Chuuya nodded. "Pick me up here tomorrow so that we can have that dinner you insist."

# # #

"Lucy told me you met _someone_ today," Hirotsu- _san_ opened their phone conversation in palpable teasing tone.

Damn Lucy's gossiping habit with Hirotsu- _san_. That was what always happened if Chuuya left the two of them alone—whatever Lucy knew, Hirotsu- _san_ would too, and vice versa. Good thing their blabbering mouth didn't run outside of this close-knitted circle.

Chuuya peeked through the twins' bedroom, making sure his children were sleeping soundly. "Why are you wording it like that?" he asked in whisper, closing the bedroom's door as silent as possible. He turned his sight to the row of photographs in the hallway, counting the years that had passed. His eyes landed with fondness at one of the pictures in which the twins were dressing up—Atsushi in a white tiger outfit and Ryuu in a godzilla's—birthday presents from Dr. Yosano.

"Oh, you know, you were never interested on anyone pursuing you. You don't even _realize_ every time it happens, yet suddenly there is this young man intriguing enough to make you explode. _You_ , a man whose priority is your children," Hirotsu- _san_ reasoned. "Mr. Mori's secretary, isn't it? I've met him once or twice. Intriguing young man, indeed, and absolutely good looking. Oh, Lucy said you acted familiar enough with him. I don't mean to pry, but is he—?"

Chuuya could hear the question Hirotsu- _san_ didn't utter. _Is that man the twins' father_? Both Lucy and Hirotsu- _san_ were sharp, no doubt they would come to this conclusion after gossiping about his guest—so many hours spent typing on their LINEchat, seriously. With a sigh, Chuuya confirmed the old man's suspicion. There was no use concealing such an obvious fact. It was just Hirotsu- _san_ anyway, and Lucy by proxy, also Higuchi as well since she must be there somewhere trying to not look liked eavesdropping.

"I see," Hirotsu- _san_ murmured in understanding. "I don't know the full story, Chuuya- _kun_. But, will you take him back?"

Chuuya frowned. "No one's taking anyone back, Hirotsu- _san_." Neither Dazai nor Chuuya own each other after all.

"The twins are his children too. He deserves to know them."

"Of course he does. I am not going to deny him the chance of knowing the children, especially if _the twins_ want to know their father."

"Then?"

Chuuya could imagine Hirotsu- _san_ 's confused face. "But it doesn't mean there should be anything romantic between us," he sighed. "Dazai has his own life. He might already have his own family somewhere. As far as I know, Dazai used to sleep around, and if one protected night with me can result on two children, I don't want to think about how many children Dazai has sired out there."

There was a pause. "You don't think very highly of Dazai- _kun_ , do you?" Chuuya didn't even feel the need to answer that rhetoric except for a roll of eyes. "Okay, okay, it's your decision to make and I will support you all the way," Hirotsu- _san_ continued. "A friendly advice, though. You've changed, so does Dazai- _kun_ … maybe. But, well, if Dazai- _kun_ is not like whatever you think he is, give him and _yourself_ a chance. Hearing the story from Lucy, I know there are still so many unresolved _things_ between you two."

Chuuya tried to hold back a sigh, and failed miserably. _Unresolved things_ , huh, didn't he know. "I appreciate your concern and advice, Hirotsu- _san_. However, I don't know, I am partially in the wrong here," he rubbed his arm to ease his anxiety and guilt down, "Guess only time will tell us what's going to happen later."

"Hopefully, whatever's going to happen will be the best for you," Hirotsu- _san_ enclosed. "Well, Higuchi has been yelling at me to go to sleep. See you later, Chuuya- _kun_."

"See you later."

And the connection was cut.

Chuuya's arm that was holding the phone went limp. He recalled, after Dazai had left the boutique, Lucy put her foot down and forced Chuuya to go home. When he refused, Lucy looked pointedly at his hands which he didn't even realize was shaking—either from guilt or rage, he couldn't differentiate— _distraught_.

Chuuya had forgotten a lot of thing over the past eight years, amongst them the more trivial memories he had shared with Dazai. After all it was not a short time, nearly a decade, and there were more important matter to focus on. Even the feeling when he had decided to leave Dazai in the dark felt so blurry right now. Honestly, maybe at that time Chuuya was just afraid. If he had tried to contact Dazai and it had been not connected, he was afraid it would have broken his heart. But he didn't remember himself being that fragile, so maybe it was just to spite Dazai? On the other hand, he never hated Dazai to do such a cruel thing— _hell_ , he _loved_ Dazai.

Usually, Chuuya would think that if he couldn't remember it, it was meant to be forgotten. Yet, there was a small twinge that told him to go look for the reason—to remember.

III

Do You Remember That Thursday?

.

Chuuya met Dazai at the age of five on a certain Thursday—twenty years or so from the encounter, he might not remember it, but it was definitely Thursday—even though there was nothing more remarkable at that Thursday except the arrival of one Dazai Osamu to the doorstep of Nakahara Chuuya's life.

Chuuya had been in the orphanage since he was a baby, being left in the doorstep of _Soseki's House_. In the five years of his living in the orphanage, Chuuya had seen his pseudo-siblings came and went, and it was nearing uncountable how many times Chuuya had changed roommate. He never questioned why himself never been adopted, though. He liked _Soseki's House_ —the place, the staff, the food, and everything—so he never felt unfortunate for not being chosen. But he would be lying if he said he never felt envy, or lonely, for being left behind each time.

The brown-haired boy, being guided by Kunikida- _sensei_ , sauntered into the room with head held high and pinched expression. Chuuya couldn't help but felt looked down by the boy.

"Chuuya," Kunikida- _sensei_ called. "This is your new roommate, Dazai Osamu. And Osamu," Kunikida- _sensei_ turned to the brown-haired boy—Dazai Osamu. "This is Nakahara Chuuya. I hope you two could get along."

Chuuya nodded warily. Dazai, on the other hand, stayed silent, looking somewhere around the room, inspecting his new habitat. Chuuya suddenly became not so sure of their future acquaintanceship. Could they get along? Dazai didn't seem want to play with Chuuya.

Turned out, Chuuya and Dazai got along nicely as a roommate, in term of keeping their own spaces—they never initiated conversation with each other and only interacting necessarily. Dazai was indifferent to anyone approaching him, always refusing an invitation to get along—oh, he was polite to the staff at least. While the other children grumbled and complained about Dazai's attitude, calling it rude and snob, Chuuya couldn't care less. After all, sooner or later Dazai would go away like all Chuuya's previous roommates.

Unexpectedly for Chuuya, though, Dazai Osamu stayed longer than he predicted. While the other children came and went, Dazai stayed. Oh, parent-to-be visiting the orphanage offered their parenthood to Dazai from time to time, but Dazai refused them all. And maybe, that was Chuuya's only resentment to his roommate. While Dazai was refusing adoption left and right, no one came for Chuuya, no one offered their hand to Chuuya.

Dazai made Chuuya felt unwanted.

Chuuya didn't hate Dazai though. Chuuya didn't have the reason to. After all, Dazai didn't continuously steal his food like Motojiro did, or tripped him in the playground making him bleed like Twain did. For Chuuya, feeling unwanted was familiar, had been presented even before Dazai became his roommate, therefore he couldn't hate Dazai for making him feel an already ever-present feeling.

Then a month became half-a-year, became nine months, and a year had passed since Dazai's arrival in the orphanage. Dazai still stayed. Chuuya's now six years old mind translated Dazai's extended stay in orphanage as delayed goodbye—still believing Dazai would leave the orphanage, sooner or later, or much later.

# # #

Chuuya still held his non-aggression policy toward Dazai Osamu. Rule number one, _do not engage unless necessary!_ But it was humid and Chuuya was bored, and Dazai was his only companion for the time. It could be considered necessity.

"What are you reading?" Chuuya approached carefully on one summer Thursday.

Based on the others' report of Dazai Osamu, while generally Dazai was polite and detached, if you ticked him off you will be bullied until you cry, which gotten the brown-haired boy numerous lectures from Kunikida - _sensei_. Well, if this encounter ended in a fight, Chuuya could retaliate just fine. After all, he paid everyone bullying him good every single time.

"A book," Dazai answered Chuuya's question without even looking up. His tone was indifferent, designed to drive away an unwelcome intruder.

Unfortunately, Chuuya was stubborn. The boredom was strong. Undeterred, Chuuya asked again, "What kind of book?"

Dazai put down the book with an irritated sigh. "Here, you can read it yourself," Dazai offered the book to the red-haired.

Chuuya looked back and forth between the book and Dazai. The title of the book was 'A Little Prince— _La Petit Prince_ '—it seemed to be a fairytale kind of story. Chuuya hadn't read that one yet, he was curious. But it seemed to not have many pictures and had too many words, the kind that Chuuya abhorred.

Dazai raised an eyebrow at Chuuya's hesitation.

Chuuya huffed then reached his hands out to take the book. Out of curiousity, of course, not because he was stubborn. Yet, as his hands nearly wrapped around the book, it was snatched back by the owner. Chuuya nearly yelled in anger and embarrassment, but it was quelled as he saw Dazai's soft chuckle—it was the first time he saw the brown-haired boy laugh, usually Dazai would only smiled politely to anyone and everyone interacting with him. Even though it was just a chuckle, Chuuya thought it had a nice ring in it, unexpectedly suited Dazai—how it made the corner of his eyes wrinkling and the reddish brown brimming with mischievous mirth.

"How about we read it together?" Dazai offered, patting the spot next to him. "I know you only ever read picture books. You _can_ only read picture books. I will read it to you."

Chuuya kinda gaped because Dazai had just insulted him. He took back his previous statement that happy and interactive Dazai was probably nice. This Dazai was not nice! But Chuuya was bored and curious of the story—well, the cover of the book was beautiful—so he took Dazai's offer even while pouting and sat next to the brunette.

After both children were comfortable with the seating arrangement—sitting beside each other closely it nearly left none space between them, russet and brunette seemed entangled—Dazai opened the book and started to read it out loud. Chuuya listened to it intensely and thought Dazai was a better story-teller than Kunikida- _sensei_.

At the end of reading, Chuuya was crying and Dazai's laughing at Chuuya's crying face, calling him crybaby. Even though Chuuya liked Dazai's laugh, Chuuya couldn't forgive the boy for laughing _at_ him, so Chuuya took a pillow and started to bash it on Dazai. Pillow fight ensued.

# # #

Dazai was Chuuya's longest roommate. Chuuya celebrated his seventh birthday and Dazai was still there to celebrate it with him. Instead of Chuuya getting a present though, Dazai was the one who demanded one from him.

"Why should I make you pudding?" Chuuya looked incredulously at his roommate, sorting the few presents he got from the staffs.

"Because it's your birthday, _Chuu-ya~_." Dazai had the courage to roll his eyes like he was actually making sense and Chuuya was the stupid one.

At the moment like this Chuuya regretted ever approaching Dazai. Dazai was annoying, silly, and never making any sense. He did whatever he wanted without a care toward other people, often drove Kunikida- _sensei_ to the brink of aneurysm. Often also, Chuuya as Dazai's roommate was getting dragged to his trouble.

"You should make one for me then if it is my birthday. Not the otherwise."

"Come on, _Chuu-ya~_!" Whining and shaking Chuuya's body, Dazai demanded. "You need to treat the one who celebrated your birthday! Moreover, I really want pudding right now."

"So you only want the pudding, I knew it." Chuuya shrugged his shoulder away from Dazai's persistent hand. "Moreover, I can't cook. Ask Kunikida- _sensei_ if you want one!"

Dazai pouted, cheek inflated resembling chipmunk. Oh, no, it meant he was being serious, stooping at nothing to get what he wanted— _stubborn social misfit_. Usually Chuuya would give up if Dazai had started to show that face, since either Chuuya complied or disasters would befall him, but today was his birthday.

Chuuya was going to be as stubborn.

It would be a battle of endurance.

Chuuya lost in the end. Even after he had stayed silent after being blamed for Dazai's mischief, could only glare after his hair being cut misshapen resulting on longer left side, and grumbling about being ditched to clean the bathroom alone which should be done by roommates pair. After all, he just couldn't say no after walking into the kitchen after cleaning the bathroom and found the occupants of the house had been waiting to give him a surprise party—and Dazai giving him a proper gift, _La Petit Prince_ novel.

Somewhere along the party, Kunikida- _sensei_ whispered to him that _Osamu_ approached him to propose the idea. It was supposed to be a secret from anyone per Dazai's request, but as a birthday present, _sensei_ made an exception to tell Chuuya.

Filled with guilt, for thinking so badly about Dazai, Chuuya secretly asked Kunikida- _sensei_ to teach him how to make a pudding.

 _Ho-we-ver_ … the troublemaker who asked for the pudding in the first place dared to insult Chuuya's creation—which even got praise from the staffs who got some shares.

Thus how a day after his seventh birthday Chuuya vowed to learn cooking.

(Every birthday from that day Chuuya would cook a pudding for Dazai. Shame it didn't last too long, ten times more or less—Chuuya didn't count. One of those birthdays fell on Thursday, nothing special though, only Chuuya, Dazai, and pudding.)

# # #

Had Chuuya mentioned that Dazai was a troublemaker? Chuuya had been wrong. Dazai could become more troublesome than Chuuya expected. Really, the older his roommate became, the more insufferable he was.

In elementary school, the boy threw a classmate's desk out of the window from second floor because the classmate dared to insult him. Then there were upperclassmen bullying Chuuya and Dazai sent them a bucket of cold water—which in the end still got Chuuya to be called to the faculty office just because he defended himself from the upperclassmen's short fuse and quick fist. Also, he made the girls he promised to go home together cried for forgetting the promise—often they cried on Chuuya, and Chuuya really didn't care about their lament of Dazai but he still listened because girls were scary, not to mention talking with them allowed him to bitch about Dazai too. There was also an incident with one particular teacher dare to accusing Dazai of cheating, so the accused challenged the teacher to give him an advance math question to be solved right there in front of many witnesses—and of course the _showoff_ could answer all the question perfectly, proving himself to be a genius that he was and not a cheater he was accused of _._

In junior high school, because of his good looks many girls liked him. He changed girlfriend weekly—a girl confessed and Dazai accepted, then the girl disappointed and Dazai agreed to break up. Not long after the break up, another girl would confess—like a repeated cycle. The disappointment mostly stem from the girl's dissatisfaction of Dazai's lack of attention, but sometimes there would be some daring ones that thought they could change Dazai and tried to last for more than a week. Yet, in the end those daring girls would either being dumped by bored Dazai or dumped Dazai since they found out that _indeed_ Dazai was no more than a trash who would never give them the special feeling they seek.

Even with that kind of reputation, Dazai never failed to get a confession after a break up. Chuuya thought how stupid those girls could be knowing Dazai's reputation and still wanting him only to dump or be dumped by the boy in a matter of hours. Or can it be called dating? Maybe fooling around was the more suitable term. In the end, Chuuya guessed no girl in school hadn't been dating Dazai, or involved at least.

In third years of junior high, Dazai changed his target into other people's girlfriend—maybe the boredom had become too much—earned him the ire of many robbed boyfriends. Often Chuuya was forced to fish Dazai out from the sticky situation the brunette plunged himself in—just because no one other than Chuuya cared enough to help Dazai—and in consequences Chuuya pitched himself into a trouble by helping the dumbass. It's not helping that Dazai hit his growth spurt at that time, infuriating Chuuya further, especially because Dazai loved to rub it to Chuuya's face.

The only good thing considered after they entered junior high was that Dazai becoming a little bit mellower in the orphanage—opening himself up to the other occupants. He did not necessarily play with them actively, but sometimes Chuuya caught him reading a fairy tale or two to the younger ones—reminding him of his time and Dazai reading _La Petit Prince_.

In senior high school, Dazai seemed to get addicted of stealing girlfriend. Chuuya speculated it was for the thrill and challenge, not that Chuuya approved of the action—seducing committed girls, then facing the wrath of the boyfriends, and once again leaving the clean up to Chuuya. Time and time again Chuuya just wanted to leave his friend to be gobbled up by angry people he messed with. Yet, every time Chuuya was not in time to rescue Dazai, the childhood friend would get a punch or two, and at the end of the day the guilt made Chuuya grumpily patched his childhood friend up.

Either way, let's just say that Dazai was a trouble in Chuuya's life. Chuuya was such a saint to keep befriending Dazai, really. Or maybe foolish. He wondered about it a lot, why he stayed with Dazai all these time and troubles, yet never regretted ever approaching the 'best friend'—because damn if Chuuya was not Dazai's best friend with all the things he did for the moron.

"—ya!"

However, Chuuya was not certain whether Dazai thought the same. Did Dazai ever look at him as a best friend? It was hard to determine following Dazai's behavior. But without a doubt he was somehow inexplicably special for Dazai, Chuuya assured himself. Chuuya might be persistent and resilient on handling Dazai, but if Dazai didn't want Chuuya near him he damn could ditch Chuuya as easily as he ditched all his ex-girlfriends.

"Chuuya!"

Chuuya snapped from his daydream. In front of him was pouting Dazai snapping his finger right in front of Chuuya's face, so close that Chuuya's eyes nearly went cross.

" _Mou_! Chuu-ya!" Dazai whined. "Pay attention, will you?"

Chuuya slapped Dazai's hand down. Gently, of course, hard enough only to sting. He rolled his eyes, pretending to be merely bored with Dazai's rambling instead of exactly bored with Dazai's rambling that ended up in questioning and reevaluating his choice of friend.

"Why are you still here, anyway?" Chuuya scowled. Yes, why was Dazai still here? Why did Dazai always come to his class to eat his lunch? Okay, maybe Chuuya was the one who brought their lunch boxes, but after Dazai got his share he could leave and eat it with his girlfriend of the week, and not unnecessarily with Chuuya. "Go back to your own class. Bell will ring soon."

"Chuuya is worried about me," Dazai crooned, clasping his hands in fake-delight.

Chuuya gagged at the exaggerated act. "I am not! Go away, Dazai. Stop bothering me! _Shoo! Shoo!_ "

"But I need to tell you that Kunikida- _sensei_ will be here after school." Dazai caught his wrapped empty lunch box thrown at him.

Chuuya frowned. "For what?"

"For my future counseling, of course. _Duh_ , do keep up, Chuuya."

Chuuya was tempted to punch that arrogant face. Years of helping Dazai out of his trouble made Chuuya packed quite a punch, because alternatively he was going to be punched first if he didn't learn about self-defense. Actually Chuuya had known how to punch since he was a child, but Kunikida- _sensei_ warned him about using his fist other than justice and self-defense. Anyway, he refrained from punching Dazai's considered handsome face.

"Then why didn't I know about it? And why do I need to know this now?"

Dazai propped his chin on hand, the elbow rest on Chuuya's desk—Chuuya eyed that elbow with a desire to sweep it off. "Like I said, do keep up. Of course it was not important for Chuuya prior to this. And it is important for Chuuya because we are going to shop for dinner together today."

"Just so you can choose your favorite," Chuuya accused, was not taking offense of Dazai's assessment of his state of importance. "Anyway, what are you going to say in the counseling?" he asked curiously. "What have you planned for your future? Knowing you, you must have at least one right?"

"Of course I am going to university," Dazai answered matter-of-factly. "I am too smart to not."

Chuuya hummed in understanding. Chuuya hated to admit it, but Dazai's words were true and not mere bragging. Dazai was _smart_ — _genius_ smart. Praised by teacher for a future guaranteed, anything Dazai chosen to be he could be. Truthfully, it would be a waste for Dazai to not go to college.

"What about you, Chuuya?"

"I am going to college too," Chuuya answered.

"Eeeh? What a surprise!"

Chuuya was sure Dazai was truly surprised. Similar to Dazai who never divulged about his future plan until now—though his choice was not really a surprise for Chuuya—Chuuya never told Dazai about his future plan. He was going to work after graduating high school while attending school for fashion designer—after all, past the age of eighteen he was not going to be supported by government anymore, and unlike Dazai who could get scholarship easily Chuuya needed to work to get institution money. Why fashion designer? It was simply because Chuuya loved clothes and how good clothes could always brighten mood. Who did people think manage Dazai's wardrobe. Without Chuuya, Dazai would be no more than a slob.

"What school are you going to apply to?" Dazai inquired further, tilting his propped head. "Is it local college or will you leave the town?"

"It's local. I am not going to leave the town."

Because Kunikida- _sensei_ had been aging and needed help to maintain the place. One by one of _Soseki's House_ 's occupants had left the place, leaving only Kunikida- _sensei_ , Dazai, Chuuya, and two orphans Kunikida- _sensei_ picked recently. Also since the place was no longer sufficiently funded, those two kids were going to be the last children in the house. If the kids had left, and both Dazai and Chuuya had graduated and leaving the town, then Kunikida- _sensei_ would be alone. Chuuya had too many debts to the man for raising him to let that happened.

So he decided to remain in this town.

"What about you, Dazai?"

"I am going to the best."

And the best was far far away from this small hometown of them.

"Oh? Good luck then. I hope you can keep yourself out of trouble, because I won't be there to help you."

"I am more than happy to part with Chuuya." Dazai stuck his tongue out to him.

"Ho? Repeat that if you dare," Chuuya challenged, ignoring the pang in his heart. He had believed all this time that Dazai would definitely leave sooner or later. It had been the later, then why was it felt too soon? "I can forfeit your dinner, remember?" He continued as he took Dazai's nose into a pinch.

Dazai cried crocodile tears. In a weird voice for the lack of nasal sound, saying he was just joking, he begged Chuuya not to take away his food. If there was a thing Dazai loved more than antagonizing and humiliating people, it was food. Chuuya never understood that attachment, but he definitely loved to use it as a leash to make Dazai behaved, thus the only reason he dedicatedly learned cooking—and he was proud to know little Dazai deemed better than Chuuya's cooking knowing. Dazai could eat anything from trash to expensive delicacy, but even he knew which the better between the two was.

At the end of the day, Chuuya waited for Kunikida- _sensei_ and Dazai through the short hour of Dazai's consultation period. They went home together after that. Despite his threat to Dazai, Chuuya still bought and cook the moron's share. The choice to feed Dazai was not relevant to the string of praise the teenager loved to carelessly thrown while eating his food, not at all. If Chuuya was honest to himself, it was possibly because he knew he only had a little chance left to cook for Dazai.

# # #

On the day of Chuuya's own future counseling, Kunikida- _sensei_ said to him, "You can go with Osamu- _kun_ , you know. You don't need to tie yourself where you don't want to."

"I have made my decision," Chuuya responded stubbornly. "Who cares about Dazai, anyway."

Kunikida- _sensei_ chuckled at the stubbornness. "You are always like that," he said with a fond smile and patted Chuuya on shoulder. The touch was feather-light, either because Chuuya had grown up or Kunikida- _sensei_ had been aging. Probably the combination of both. Time, really. "But someday you should let that go. Osamu- _kun_ too. Both of you are too stubborn."

# # #

Dazai and Chuuya graduated safely. To be precise, and brutally honest, Dazai graduated brilliantly and Chuuya safely. It felt there was not enough time to enjoy their freedom after high school together before Dazai left the town early to finish all the administration and requirement for university, or basically leaving the town forever if not for Kunikida- _sensei_ 's insistent to visit often.

The two kids left in _Soseki's House_ had been adopted just before Dazai left, now leaving Chuuya and Kunikida- _sensei_ alone occupying the big shelter.

Meanwhile, Chuuya, who stayed for everything he stood for in this hometown, was busy running around to manage his time as a son, a student, and an employee. He took Kunikida- _sensei_ to the elder's doctor appointment, did night labor job, and managed classes.

As Chuuya had expected, Dazai didn't listen to Kunikida- _sensei_ 's words for visiting. Two months after no visitation, _sensei_ decided to torments Dazai with numerous calls to his dorm. Even for Chuuya who was not the receiver of such harassment felt annoyed, he couldn't imagine how the dorm-keeper felt. Dazai would be care less, but the frustrated dorm-keeper would urge him to go back home just so Kunikida- _sensei_ stopped his incessant calls. Thus, objective achieved.

The objective was cleared when Dazai visited two weeks later after Kunikida- _sensei_ 's first call.

The bonus, Dazai visited often after then.

Every time Dazai stepped on the threshold of _Soseki's House_ , Chuuya felt inexplicably nervous. He always felt clammy and light-headed, and his heart beat faster. Somehow, when Dazai was back to this home, Chuuya would cook the meal a little, _a little_ , bit more extravagantly than usual—thank god only Kunikida- _sensei_ noticed and wisely kept it a secret from Dazai, though sometimes the elder failed to resist a teasing grin toward Chuuya.

Every time Dazai was back, it seemed nothing was changed except Chuuya's internal wonder at his body's reaction—let just say he was surprised of he was still capable of missing the waste of bandage. They still bickered, still bad-mouthing each other, excepting Dazai's escalating grabby hands in each meet—Chuuya deluded himself that Dazai wanted to leave a mark on their reunion, either on Chuuya or himself, to fill the void of missing each other.

Dazai also visited on Chuuya's nineteenth birthday to demand pudding like always.

Chuuya begrudgingly complied.

He was measuring ingredients when Dazai sneaked on him from behind and looped his arms around Chuuya's shoulder and torso.

"Dazai, move!" Chuuya tried to shrug the taller man off his body, pointlessly, because Dazai stuck like a leech.

Dazai's draping himself over Chuuya was not necessarily strange, but still unwelcome. From Chuuya's personal experiences, and many testimonies of Dazai's ex-girlfriends, Dazai was such a human blanket. The girls said that every time Dazai hug them, their heart would beat faster. Some disagreed and said their heart skipped a beat. Chuuya silently disagreed with them all. His heartbeat never change from Dazai's hug, it remained like how it always beat around Dazai. Instead, for him Dazai's hug was suffocating, felt too hot and giving his skin a sensation akin of blistering that lingered for many days after the initial contact.

Chuuya hated Dazai's hug.

"But I am bored," Dazai whined, nuzzling into Chuuya's hair. "Play with me, Chuu-ya."

"Don't be a child, Dazai!" Chuuya put his hands down on the counter to hold himself straight from the weight of Dazai's body on his back. With Dazai as nuisance, it was impossible for any job well done. "And stop ruffling my hair!"

As it was Dazai, he didn't listen and nuzzling his face harder on top of Chuuya's head, messing Chuuya's tied hair. Chuuya sighed heavily in defeat and decided to wait for Dazai to be bored of his boredom. In term of stubbornness, often Dazai beat him instead of the opposite. The room then enveloped in silence except for the rustling of Dazai's act of _affection_ —because the man-child was looking for attention, what else was it called if not affection?

When Dazai stopped messing Chuuya's hair, head ended up on the crook between Chuuya's neck and shoulder, the room stayed in a comfortable silent. Chuuya let the taller teenager, today turned a year younger than Chuuya himself, to cuddle. Even though the position was awkward for Chuuya, the hug was suffocating, and his skin started to have goosebumps, the silence and atmosphere indeed still felt comfortable, not like Chuuya was going to admit it out loud.

Chuuya wasn't sure since when Dazai loved to be in constant physical contact. He remembered before they entered two digit number of age Dazai liked to keep for himself. The only affection Dazai allowed the adult was a pat on head, and for Chuuya to sit next to him. However, Chuuya never get it on his head that he was special, considering Dazai had often let his ex-es looped their arms around his.

Feeling Dazai's hair tickling his cheek, Chuuya got an idea. He raised his hand up and patted that fluffy brown hair, pulling it slightly on the fringe, messing it up in revenge.

"What is it?" Dazai murmured without lifting his head up in amusement—didn't really care for the state of his hair—his breath felt warm on Chuuya's neck. "Why is Chuuya suddenly nice to me?"

Chuuya snorted. "I am always nice, you playboy," he retorted with fondness. His hand kept petting Dazai's hair. "And this is not an act of kindness. It's a revenge for my hair, of course."

Dazai gave a soft chuckle, and burrowed his nose further on Chuuya's neck, letting Chuuya's hand buried further into his brown locks. "Don't be _tsundere_ , Chuuya," he accused in sing-song voice. "I know you love me~."

Chuuya opened his mouth to refute, yet the only thing out was a yelp. Dazai was just biting Chuuya's shoulder.

"Dazai!" Chuuya shrieked and shrugged Dazai off his body with all his weight.

With a hearty laugh, Dazai let Chuuya go and ran out of the room.

Chuuya decided to not pursue the troublemaker, a hand clamped on his bitten shoulder. His face felt hot with embarrassment and he knew it must be as red as his hair. His other hand clutched the kitchen's pantry tightly in an effort to control himself not to follow his urge to hunt Dazai down, reminding himself he had dinner to be cook and pudding to make. If he played with Dazai now there would be nothing to eat tonight and Dazai would become more insufferable.

Finally Chuuya calmed himself with a sigh. There was still a trace of blush on his cheek, but nothing he couldn't handle. Grumbling complain about Dazai, Chuuya went back to cook. Halfway through, tough, a smile rose from Chuuya's lips. Whatever it was that roused the smile, Chuuya was not going to admit it outside the safety of his mind.

# # #

On a warm and comfortable afternoon, the reddish orange light of the sun flooded their room through the window. Dazai was reading while resting his head on Chuuya's lap who was reading a book of his own. "Come with me, Chuuya," he proposed out of the blue.

"No," Chuuya responded without hesitation, without even lifting his eyes from his book, his tone final.

"Okay."

And the topic was ended just like that.

# # #

On a certain Saturday of Chuuya's twentieth year of life Kunikida- _sensei_ passed away in peace. Chuuya didn't cry when he found the peaceful corpse, after all he had dreaded this situation ever since Kunikida- _sensei_ 's healthcollapsed for the last months, both Kunikida- _sensei_ and him was ready for the worst scenario. He only checked and confirmed the absence of pulse before calling the ambulance. After calling ambulance, he called Dazai.

"Kunikida- _sensei_ passed away," he informed, rubbing his tired eyes with the heel of his palm.

"Oh," was Dazai's simple response. There was a rustling of paper indicating Dazai's reading activity. "Do you need me to help with the funeral?"

Chuuya scowled to the phone. "Of course I do." He clicked his tongue. "I will punch you if you dare to let me handle everything myself."

Dazai gave a small chuckle without humor. It was actually sounded hollow. "Okay, okay. I understand. I will take a week leave starting tomorrow then."

"You better."

A moment of silence filled the connection between the two of them—bills wasted in consequences of awkwardness.

"Are you okay, Chuuya?" Dazai broke the moment with a question. From the distinct sound travelled through the phone, Dazai was shutting his reading book.

Chuuya sighed and thumped his head lightly on the wall behind him. "No," he answered. "But I believe I will be. I can handle it. Also, there are a lot of thing to sort. I will worry about myself when everything settles."

Dazai hummed. "It's good that you can admit that you are not fine. I am almost jealous."

"How about you, Dazai?" Chuuya crossed one arm, using it as leverage for the elbow of the hand that was holding the phone. His head tilted to the phone in a melancholy pose. "Both of us were raised by _sensei_ , aren't you sad that he passed away?"

"I don't know, Chuuya. You can say that it will change a part of my life." It followed by the sound of nail tapping wood, representing Dazai's doubt. "But on the other hand my life will go on like nothing changes."

"At least you feel a fragment of sadness," Chuuya said conclusively. "At least you do care for _sensei_." Then he heard a faint sound of ambulance siren. "The ambulance is here. I need to go. Call you later."

Chuuya ended the call in haste.

# # #

Monday.

The funeral procession went smoothly. As promised, Dazai came to help. Most of the guests were their once pseudo-sibling in the _Soseki's House_ paying their respect. None of the former staffs come since Kunikida- _sensei_ was indeed the last living staff of the orphanage. Truthfully, it just felt like a big reunion for Chuuya and Dazai as both of them were the longest occupants of the orphanage and knew nearly everyone who had been sheltered by _Soseki's House_.

Some of them were catching up to each other, talking about their life, and at some point the topic of the conversation turned in to the state of the orphanage. "You are going to sell Soseki's House?" Twain asked curiously, swirling his cup of sake. Chuuya only told one person about selling _Soseki's House_ —last night when the two of them alone was keeping the incense burning—and that person had been running his big mouth it seemed. "If it is to pay _sensei_ 's medical debt, we can help, you know. So you do not need to sell the place."

Chuuya himself was in the middle of putting away some dirty cup and pot of the table when Twain's question came. His hand that was holding a porcelain pot halted in mid-air for a moment, a fragment of a second, from the mix of anger at Dazai and surprise at Twain's offer—honestly, he never thought of Twain as compassionate person.

"It was Kunikida- _sensei_ 's will," he said to Twain, as he put the porcelain in his hand on to the tray. "The place was under _sensei_ 's name, it was _sensei_ 's, so it is not my decision to make.I am only respecting that decision. Not to mention it will be hassle to keep the place by myself. After settling the debt, the rest of the money will be donated. "

"And I get nothing?" Dazai, the troublemaker, came to interrupt. Really, he only appeared when it was convenient for him. Every time Chuuya needed him for menial job, he disappeared.

Chuuya stood up, holding a tray full of porcelain with both of his hands, ready to bring them inside to be cleaned. "Nope," he said to Dazai curtly.

"Ah~, how mean of Kunikida- _sensei_!" Dazai pouted and put another cup to the already full tray.

Chuuya was really tempted to gnash his teeth, preferably on Dazai's nose. "You make money every day, you do not need it, do not complain!" Because not only Dazai got money from scholarship program, he also worked questionable part-time—cheap investment, big return—which Chuuya was almost afraid to ask what the part-time was.

Kenji snickered, stealing Dazai and Chuuya's attention from their bickering. "Dazai- _nii_ and Chuu- _nii_ are as close as always," commented that boy three years younger than Dazai and Chuuya. He had lived in the orphanage when Dazai and Chuuya in their junior high, around their second to third years, and Chuuya always remembered him as a cheerful boy with innocent eyes. Right now, those innocent eyes was focused on Dazai and Chuuya through a certain filter that made him imagining them as _close_. "There is Dazai- _nii_ , right, Chuu- _nii_? So you are not necessarily alone. You don't need to sell the house."

"I will not come back to this town after this though," Dazai responded off-handedly, light as feather.

Many of the visitors spat their drink in surprise. The only thing pointing at Chuuya's surprise was the slight spasm on his hold on the tray, making the porcelain on it unnoticeably clattered against each other. He had long already known about it. However, while he had understood and expected it since he was five years old, it still came as a shock to his physical being hearing that Dazai would leave this routine they had built together.

There were questions and commotion, and Chuuya took the chance to slip away to the peaceful kitchen. Unfortunately, Dazai successfully fend off everyone's curiosity and followed Chuuya to the safe haven.

"Are you really okay with this?" Dazai asked, leaning on the doorway. Chuuya wondered what he was talking about, was it about his departure? "You don't get a cent at all," Dazai continued. Oh, about the estate.

Chuuya opened the faucet and water poured in to the dish washer. "I don't need it. Kunikida- _sensei_ offered, but the pay I got from work is sufficient for my intuition. If there is any left after paying the debt, it is better donated for other orphanage."

Dazai sighed. "Where will you live then?"

"I have found a cheap apartment near my workplace. Anyway," Chuuya glanced behind his back, raising his eyebrow skeptically at Dazai. "What's with the question? Are you worried about me?" Then he moved his focus back to the dishes he was drying.

"Of course I am! Chuuya will get into trouble if left alone." There were footsteps. "Really, Chuuya can easily feel lonely. I am _so_ worried."

"Are you talking about yourself?"

Dazai crashed into Chuuya's back, hugging him.

Chuuya clicked his tongue. "Dazai," he warned.

"Chuu-ya," Dazai retorted playfully, snuggling closer.

Chuuya sighed, reaching his hand to turn off the faucet. "What do you want?" he asked in exasperated voice.

"I want to see Chuuya cry," Dazai said resolutely, loosening the embrace, and trying to make Chuuya faced him. "I never see you cry, you know."

Chuuya turned around obediently, only because he had finished cleaning up the porcelains. "I also never see you cry, for your information."

"If you cry," Dazai brought their forehead together. "I will cry for you too."

"Sap!" pointed Chuuya before he head butted Dazai's forehead lightly.

Seriously, it was more like a tap instead of a head butt. But of course Dazai would make a big deal out of it. "Ugh, Chuuya, how mean of you," Dazai whined, rubbing his forehead. "It hurts, you know. Is this going to be your last treatment to me before we say our goodbye? Mean!"

"And what were you trying to do?" Chuuya pinched Dazai's waist, as the brunette was too tall for Chuuya to flick his forehead. "Let's go back outside."

Chuuya passed Dazai and went out of the room.

Dazai didn't immediately follow. He stood alone in the middle of the room, gazing at the space Chuuya had occupied before the red haired childhood friend figure went to the hallway—a somber smile painted on his face. What was he trying to do, Chuuya had asked. In his brief solitude Dazai tried to think of an answer. Yet, before he could grasp one, Chuuya's voice calling his name propelled him out of his self-introspection and into moving his feet toward his friend.

# # #

Tuesday.

Chuuya woke up to Dazai's face. So close it was, he gave an involuntary scream. Actually, that was not the sole reason. Dazai was against waking up early, seeing him woke up earlier than Chuuya felt so absurd it was frightening.

"Good morning, Chuuya," Dazai smiled, unperturbed by Chuuya's scream. Turning around, he picked a tray of food. "Look, I cook you a breakfast," he said in misplaced pride, since nothing on the tray was worth to be proud of.

Chuuya stared at the _things_ Dazai called _breakfast_ in horror. Never in million years Chuuya ever thought his habit of spoiling Dazai would result on such _monster_. "How do you even survive college for these past months?" Chuuya asked in genuine wonder, pushing the tray away. No wonder Dazai always praised Chuuya's food if the comparison were _these_.

Dazai pouted and pushed the tray back toward Chuuya.

Chuuya put two hands to combat Dazai's insistent.

Dazai's sweet and proud smile started to strain. "Chuuya, girls usually love it when their significant cook for them."

"Sorry, I am _not_ a girl." Chuuya presented the fact as clear as possible, just in case Dazai had forgotten from looking at his beautiful face and hair every day.

"Well, _I_ love it when girls and you cook for me!"

"It's because _you_ love food! Nothing to do with romantic gesture or anything!"

"Come on, don't be ungrateful, Chuuya!"

"You are the ungrateful one! I feed you and now you want to kill me with this _thing_!"

Dazai was so persistent on forcing Chuuya to eat the abominable, and each push kept on gaining momentum and strength. Back and forth. Chuuya basically needed to put all his weight on the effort to equate Dazai's power.

"Eat it!"

"You! Eat! It!"

The tray fell over the sheet. Dazai said 'ups' as Chuuya growled in anger. Dazai ended up washing the sheet with Chuuya's glaring dagger behind him. It should only take five minutes. After all, it just a single sheet! But it was Dazai, who always delegating his housework share to Chuuya, so of course he couldn't even do it right and ended up taking twenty minutes or so even with Chuuya barking instruction behind him.

When Dazai finished the laundry, _finally_ , Chuuya took him to the kitchen and taught him how to cook rice, toast, water, and egg—the basic of the basic of cooking.

"This way you won't starve in college or waste money to buy junk food, and my conscience won't be hurt," said grumpily.

Dazai smiled over Chuuya's head. "You _tsundere_ ," he said, bumping his body to Chuuya. Because of the height difference, though, Chuuya _nearly_ fall to the floor from the impact. Fortunately, he was saved and able to stay straight. Unfortunately, the rice Chuuya had been rinsing didn't survive—the container escaped from Chuuya's beautiful long fingers and fell dirtying the floor with water and rice.

"Ups," Dazai said, in such playful tone, again—expecting Chuuya to forgive him like always.

Chuuya sighed exhaustedly. This early in the morning and Dazai had made his day worse. Yesterday, he cleaned up the house by himself, not to mention packing some furniture for moving out tomorrow, and went to bed really late. Unfortunately, the sigh escaped along with some words he didn't mean…

" _Why are you so useless, Dazai?"_

… Immediately, Chuuya covered his mouth in surprise and shock toward himself. Glancing up to see Dazai's reaction, Chuuya blanched with horror. The usually impassive, and sometimes over-cheerful, man was staring at him with narrow eyes, glinting with sorrows, and thinned lips. Chuuya had pushed a landmine—a landmine only Chuuya knew and he shouldn't abuse—brought up just to relieve his irritation.

"I am surprised you just realized it now, Chuuya," Dazai snorted bitterly, as sharp as Chuuya's guilt. Chuuya opened his mouth to say he didn't mean it. But Dazai beat him into it, "Don't say you didn't mean it. Don't say it! Because I know I am useless, okay. _I know_!"

But Chuuya really didn't mean it. Dazai might be trash, but he was _not_ useless! Although he was a stupid troublemaker, he was smart; always helping Chuuya doing his homework and managing the orphanage's account book. Supposing the brunette was a vagabond who liked to send girls crying, yet he was kind; for telling the children fairy tales and for avenging the bullied Chuuya. On the contrary of his detached and seemingly ignorant attitude, Dazai was dedicated; because Chuuya knew he had been sending some money to Kunikida- _sensei_ 's account for the last months, coincidentally after Chuuya told him about _sensei_ 's deteriorating health. Not anything out of Dazai's mouth could be believed, but he was someone who could be trusted and counted for his promise.

Everyone had their own bad and good points, and Chuuya shouldn't play pointing.

Chuuya rushed with an intention to hug Dazai. Yet, his body stopped just a step distance from the brunette. In exchange, Chuuya just took Dazai's hands into his. "I am sorry, Dazai. _I am sorry!_ " he said in a quiet voice filled with so much guilt. He brought Dazai's hands in his hold to his chest. "I really don't mean it earlier, okay? Please, believe me, you are a wonderful person despite your faults."

Dazai never openly told him about this _trauma_ of him but Chuuya had seen one of his triggered moments accidentally. In snippet, implicit, information Dazai gave him, Chuuya understood Dazai had came from troubled family before being sent to the orphanage. The details, though, Chuuya didn't quite know.

Chuuya wished to know, but he would wait for Dazai to tell him.

Chuuya wished Dazai would tell him someday, but he only a day left with Dazai, as the man would be leaving on Thursday.

For once, Chuuya wished he had a longer time with Dazai. However, the impending separation was inevitable. Both of them were too stubborn to ask the other to stay together, they knew it, aware of it, but had not willing to make a change. Kunikida- _sensei_ had said they needed to let their pride and stubbornness go, but they were just too young to muster the courage for it, really. Even so, this time, it was merely too late to even beg.

Chuuya could hear the slow intake of breath from Dazai's direction. Then Dazai's hands twitched in his hold, trying to pull out. Chuuya let them go in consideration.

"Chuuya, it's okay," Dazai said, one of his hand hovered close to Chuuya's face. Then the thumb started to trace Chuuya's fine nose-bone before glided up to Chuuya's tresses, tucking the side-bang behind Chuuya's pretty ears. "I am the one who are sorry for overreacting. I apologize. Let's forget it?" he pleaded. "I forgive you. Forgive me too?"

Usually, their fight would last longer than this. But both Dazai and Chuuya knew their time was limited, and how uncomfortable it would be for their conscience to separate in such bad term. Chuuya himself was not ready to forgive himself to lose control over his emotion, since he knew Dazai just wanted to cheer him up today—the man who had never woke up early, today woke up earlier than Chuuya to cook him breakfast no matter how miserable the result was—the effort was much appreciated.

For those reasons, Chuuya nodded at Dazai's plead.

"Hug?" Dazai requested.

Complying Dazai's request, Chuuya walked to Dazai's open arm and let himself sunk into and enveloped by the warmth of Dazai's body, spreading his own arms around Dazai's torso and rested his palm on the broad back of his beloved.

"Chuuya," Dazai suddenly said in the midst of their hug. "Are you getting fat?"

Chuuya pinched Dazai's waist so hard Dazai needed to apologize profusely before Chuuya gave his mercy.

They were okay.

They were fine.

# # #

Wednesday.

This time, it was Chuuya's turn to wake Dazai up. Not that it was a strange occurrence. Why did people think Dazai could attend their high school years without ever being late, because Chuuya had always woken him up. _Every_. _Single_. _Day_. Rare occurrence was _Dazai_ waking Chuuya up to be honest.

"Wake up, Dazai!"He said as he pulled Dazai's blanket and kicking the man buried like burrito in said blanket out of the bed.

Dazai groaned in pain. "Chuuya!" he protested with narrowed eyes—glued together by the remnant of sleep. "Can you not using domestic violence this early in the morning?" sluring in sleepy voice.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, hands on hip. "It is _eleven_ , Dazai! Even the house buyer had come and gone! I can't show them this room because you were still sleeping—" and the rant continued on while Dazai was nodding off sleepily—not even aware being dragged to the bathroom by Chuuya in rolled up sleeve.

When the rivulet of cold waters sprayed onto his clothed body, Dazai spluttered, instantly awake. "Cold! Chuuya, it's cold!" he protested and tried to escape from the water attack. It had been two years since he had Chuuya dragged him into the bathroom like this, as it had been Chuuya's most favorite way of waking Dazai up in the morning in the high school period.

Suddenly, the barrage of water stopped. Dazai's body had been drenched from head to toe, completely with his pajamas. As Dazai was busy wiping water from his face with his wet clothes, he felt Chuuya unceremoniously dumped a quite amount of shampoo to Dazai's head and proceed to rub it evenly.

"You will help me moving out today!" Chuuya said matter-of-factly over Dazai's head, hands working on diligent motion. "I will hate you forever if you go away without doing anything for me."

Dazai was going to suggest calling moving company. However, before he could say anything, Chuuya instructed him to close his eyes before starting to rinse the shampoo from Dazai's hair. With soapy water running down the slope of his face, Dazai was incapable of saying anything further. After finished the bath, Dazai forgot about it altogether, at least until Chuuya pulled him outside where a pick-up car had been parked and the furniture was already stacked on it meticulously. After the orphanage was not running actively, Kunikida- _sensei_ had sold most of its furniture, leaving only the necessities for two, and the things Chuuya owned was not too much to begin with, therefore everything could be packed into one pick-up car.

"Let's go, Dazai," Chuuya called out, entering the car.

Dazai only agreed he was curious of Chuuya's new apartment. "Where did you learn driving?" he asked in curiosity, entering the passenger seat.

"I learn it for my part-time job," Chuuya answered between starting the engine on and swiping the gear. "You know I worked for Moving Service Company briefly." The car moved forward.

"Why didn't you work there anymore?"

Hearing the question, Chuuya grinned maliciously. "You'll see," he answered mysteriously.

The new apartment was not as bad as Dazai had thought—it might be run-down but livable. They finished furnishing in three hours, including cleaning the house and putting the furniture based on _feng shui_ —because of Dazai's insistent—and Dazai understood Chuuya's reason of retiring from moving company. It was such an exhausting job. The exhausted Chuuya and Dazai now laid their back on the spread-sheet of _futon_ , enjoying the warmth emanated from the heater.

"Now I understand why you don't want to continue the job. It's _exhausting_!" Dazai whined in exasperation. "Stop doing labor job, Chuuya! As a friend, I advise you to change your job into the less laborious one!"

"Easy for you to say," Chuuya responded in pant. Weird, his stamina should be better than this, but lately he became easily tired. "I need money and labor works pay well."

"That's why you should take some money after selling _Soseki's House_."

"I've said it. No."

"Stubborn."

"Says you."

Dazai's stomach rumbled. "Chuuya, I am hungry!" he complained, rolling on to his front.

 _Tch_! Good thing Chuuya had packed some lunch-boxes. "Get it by yourself in the car. I am too tired to move."

As long as it was for food, Dazai would do anything Chuuya told him. Dazai stood up. With skipping step, he went outside to get the lunch-boxes, humming the melody of a certain western music Chuuya knew Dazai liked to listen. Later, Dazai got back with the lunch-boxes—three similar boxes with different content. The first was rice, of course. The second was the dishes; egg-roll, vegetables stir-fry, tempura, and calamari. And the third contained tomato cherry and strawberry.

"Thanks for the meal!" Dazai exclaimed after finishing the meal, throwing his body onto the futon, and rubbing his full stomach in contentment. "Hmm. Let's spend the night here?" quipped Dazai suddenly, already felt too comfortable to move.

Chuuya didn't really adverse to the idea. After all, there was everything they needed for a sleepover here. Not to mention Dazai must be already too lazy to do anything else and couldn't be deterred. So, while tidying up the lunch boxes, he just said to Dazai's suggestion, "Fine, whatever." Then he went to wash the lunch-boxes.

After changing into more comfortable clothes, Chuuya was ready to get the spare _futon_ , but Dazai urged Chuuya to sleep on the same futon as his. Following a sigh, because Dazai was using that _chipmunk-cheeks_ move, Chuuya crawled under the blanket and snuggled into Dazai. The temperature immediately felt warmer.

"Do you need a bed-time story, Chuuya?" Dazai offered as he looped his arms around Chuuya.

"No way!" Chuuya answered with scowled.

Of course Dazai was not going to listen to Chuuya. "A long long time ago, there were two young siblings…"

It was a long, elaborate, and sentimental story, but the summary was there had been two young siblings who were raised by their single mother. The big brother was smart, reliable, obedient, and _perfect_. Many people, including the mother, had big expectation for the big brother. Within expectation, came pressure. The bigger the expectation, the more crushing the pressure, especially when the big brother was unwilling to bother his hard-working mother and innocent younger brother—who was nearly eleven years his junior. The big brother who couldn't handle it anymore decided to suicide. Finding the fate of his beloved son, the mother got heart attack and died, leaving the younger boy alone.

At the end of the story, Chuuya ended up burying his face into the crook of Dazai's collarbone as a single support that Dazai was not alone. Instinctively, Chuuya knew it was a story of Dazai's past. While he was wondering why suddenly Dazai wanted to share this story, he was glad Dazai trusted him enough to tell him.

Some silence later, Dazai said, "This is going to be the last time."

"I know," Chuuya responded.

The sun had already long set—the shadows lurking in the corner started to crawl to the center of the room and enveloped the two protagonists of this apartment stage.

"I want to focus on my study and career, because reasons," the brunette reminded. "The timing just unfortunately coincides with _sensei_ 's passing away." Dazai wanted to make sure that Chuuya understood he wasn't leaving because he didn't care about him.

Sigh. " _I_ know. I have already _known_ , Dazai. You told me your plan long time ago, that I can't be your family, because family for you should be bounded by blood ties. Now I understand, as much as you like me, I will never be your priority more than your past family. I respect it, so it's okay, it's not like you to beat yourself over something like this."

Yes, Dazai was incapable of loving Chuuya, because of his bound to his past. Chuuya understood. It hurt, but it was not like Dazai's perspective was wrong. It was frustrating, but Chuuya was used to it—being left behind.

"Sing me to sleep?" requested Dazai.

On that Wednesday night, the last night they would ever spend together for so many years, they were sent to sleep by Chuuya's soft humming of lullaby.

# # #

Thursday.

Chuuya sent Dazai to the train station, walking behind Dazai who was pulling a big suitcase full of his belonging that recently was part of _Soseki's House_ and Chuuya's life. However, Chuuya could only accompany him until the passenger gate.

As they stopped near the gate, they didn't hug, only looking at each other with resigned smile—it's time for a goodbye. Now, if Chuuya was thinking about it, they hugged quite a lot for the past few days, hugs filled in desperation, question, complication, and forgiveness—as if they wanted to wrap everything before the chapter was finished. Even though _everything_ in here was tangled, muddled, and messy.

"I will miss you," Chuuya whispered with a frowned smile, holding back the tears threatening welling up on his peripheral. Lately he had been really emotional.

"I will miss your cooking," Dazai replied with tilted head in a somber expression.

"All you care is my food, when will you think about me?" Chuuya pretended to be offended and raised his fist to punch Dazai's shoulder lightly.

Dazai caught the fist when it made contact with his jacket. "You know I have no time to think about you further from this. So, goodbye, Chuuya," he said his goodbye, bringing Chuuya's fist to his lips, kissing the knuckle. It's not _see you around_ or _see you later_. "Wish I could say _don't forget me_."

Ah, Chuuya thought as he took a deep breath then exhale it through mouth, it was really the time. "How unfair," he bid his farewell. _Goodbye, my best friend, my beloved_. "Wish I could forget you, shame you are unforgettable, while you care nothing about me."

With the last smile—the sadness, guilt, and sorrow were implied—Dazai let Chuuya's hand go. Then he turned around, walking past the passenger gate without looking back. Chuuya looked at that broad back thinking, with each steps, with every meter of the train Dazai took, with each kilometer of sea that would separate them, everything about them, even past and future, would stretched further.

Until it reached …

… Zero.

# # #

A month later.

Chuuya got a bad case of flu. He couldn't even go to work and school. A week of not showing up to workplaces, he got fired from some. Not a surprise, but unfortunate still. Even one loss could hurt his wallet quite severely. School, apartment, and food. So many things to think about. And now he got down by an illness.

When Chuuya felt better, he went to the doctor for a checkup—because health was important. If he was not healthy, he couldn't work, he couldn't go to school, what would he become then?

After waiting for the examination results, the doctor said he was in an exceptional health. The problem was Chuuya just got a baby.

Surprise!

Further examination showed that it were _babies_ —plural—and the fetuses were around eleven weeks old.

Chuuya walked out of the clinic in a daze, vitamins in hands. Initially, he thought he would rage, cursing Dazai for knocking him up even though they only ever slept together _once_. He thought he would be distressed, as _babies_ would certainly be a hinder in his budding life. But as he passed his reflection on a window, he found himself smiling. Distrusting his eyes, Chuuya brought his hand up to feel his lips and still he found it curved upwards.

Then he realized he never thought of abandoning these lives inside of him. It didn't pass his mind.

Unexpectedly, he was happy he would get the babies. Or was it as expected?

Because a family was the thing he craved since his childhood.

He thought of telling Dazai, but somehow he doesn't feel incline to. It might be cruel, knowing how much Dazai yearned for family as much as Chuuya. However, Dazai was the one who decided they should never meet again, and Chuuya loathed contacting Dazai first. This time, in an act of last selfishness, Chuuya wanted to out-stubborn Dazai.

 _Serves him right_ , Chuuya thought as he continued his steps, a smile on his face. _Serves both of us right, Dazai_

They were just twenty; stubborn and young. They knew what they wanted.

One got family he wanted, but being left behind by the lover.

The other got the achievement he seek, but lost the family he dreamt.

IV

The Sun Shines Brightly on This Sunday

.

Since Chuuya had forgotten to give his number to Dazai on Sunday, he had to wait all day on the promised Monday. When the clock hit two in the afternoon and Dazai hadn't come to visit yet, Chuuya went to pick the twins up from school. Unlike the usual where they would go home straight after, this time Chuuya brought them to _Rain in June_ to wait for Dazai. Immediately he dismissed Lucy—whose meaningful glance he pretended to not notice—and for once in forever she went home earlier than Chuuya. Somehow, it made him felt accomplished.

While waiting for Dazai, the children were lying on their front on the floor, doing their homework—in between, munching a plate of calamari Chuuya had given them as snacks to stop their incessant inquiry about Dazai's arrival. Chuuya himself was sitting on a stool nearby with nothing to do, involuntarily recalling the memories of finding out he was pregnant with the twins.

He had withdrawn from college because he understood he wouldn't be able to pay the intuition while supporting the new lives he carried. Looking around for cheaper lifestyle, he had found one outside of his hometown. Chuuya had been really tormented at that time. While the lifestyle in his hometown was a little bit expensive, looking for a side-job was easy. On the other hand, next town's apartment and food costed less, but the part-time jobs were scarce, and it would be hard for a drop-out like Chuuya to secure a full-time job.

However, the time Chuuya could even work was limited. At four months, he might not start to show yet, but it was counting. Either he could save enough or he needed to get a job that provided maternity leave.

After much consideration, Chuuya had decided to sell all of his possession bar the necessity and moved to the next town. What a foolish optimism, truly. Also truly, his gratitude toward Hirotsu- _san_ was not exaggerated knowing how dire his situation had been at that time.

"Papa," the cheerful voice of Atsushi called in whisper, mindful of his younger sibling that apparently fell asleep already. The oldest stood up and approached him with a sheet of paper in hands. "Can you check my homework?" he asked with twinkles in his eyes.

Such a cute kid, always positive and happy, Chuuya wondered how come Dazai and he could create this angel. To be fair, Dazai could be a little bit high on sugar—resulted on twinkly eyes and such—but he was not by any means innocent fluffy balls like Atsushi. On the other hand, Ryuunosuke got all the grumpiness of his parents through and thorough.

"Sure," Chuuya affirmed in low voice in order to not wake Ryuunosuke, hand extended to take Atsushi's book. "What homework did Mr. Hawthorne give you today? Math?" he mumbled to himself while turning the pages. "Just don't let Ryuu copy it later, okay?"

"I won't!" Atsushi immediately climbed up to Chuuya's lap.

Both immersed themselves on the homework. So comfortable they were, they didn't realize the sound of a car parking in front of the shop, nor the sound of knocks until it became bangs. Everyone jolted from surprise—including the awoken Ryuunosuke, face scrunched in a scowl for being disturbed from his nap.

Chuuya got up from his seat with face red from anger. After moving Atsushi off his lap, hastily he walked to the front of the store. He opened the double door forcefully and yelled at, predictably, Dazai who had his hand in mid-air. "Stop it, Dazai!"

Dazai put his thousand dollar worth of smile—the smile that surely had won him a lot of deal in business—and said, "Good afternoon, Chuuya. Why so angry?"

Chuuya glared. "You woke my child up, you _stupid_ —!" he tried to find the most befitting adjective for Dazai's infuriating behavior. He ended up with nothing—since Dazai was beyond words could describe—and substituted it with a menacing growl.

"Eloquent," Dazai commented with a chuckle.

"Shut up. Just come in!" Chuuya said with a slam of door right on Dazai's face. He didn't even care if the door was an antique.

Dazai opened the door and followed. "My, my, Chuuya really has the issue of anger management, huh?" He closed the door carefully.

Chuuya clamped his lips tightly to hold back any retorts and curses he wanted to throw at Dazai's face. There were children at the next room.

"Oh, look, mini-Chuuyas." Dazai walked past Chuuya toward the twins who just came out of their play room. "I bring you two a gift, kids," said the brunet, bending down to be on the same height as them and showed them a package in his hand—wrapped in blue paper wrapper with knight soldier pattern.

Chuuya observed how Atsushi immediately wanted to reach for the package but was halted by Ryuunosuke. _Good job_ , Chuuya preened with pride; he knew he could always count on his youngest child.

"What is it?" Ryuunosuke asked suspiciously, prying at the package in scrutiny.

"You should find it out by yourself," told Dazai in amused tone, holding the package steadily in front of the twins. "It's a surprise, after all."

"What if it was a bomb?" accused the black-haired boy.

"Ryuu!" scolded the pouting Atsushi as he felt the younger brother had been out of line. The white-haired boy fidgeted with eagerness to receive the first present their father ever bought for them. Atsushi wondered, both of them had been looking forward to this moment as far as they remembered, why did Ryuunosuke start to doubt him right now?

Both Ryuunosuke and Atsushi then looked up to Chuuya, using eye contact to confirm whether or not they should accept Dazai's offering. "Don't worry, Mr. Dazai isn't going to bring a gift that can potentially blow himself up," Chuuya responded with a chuckle. It would not do to refuse Dazai's gift or the man would throw a tantrum like a child. "Accept it," he nodded. "I will avenge you if Mr. Dazai actually dares to bring a prank."

Ryuunosuke nodded back at Chuuya. Bracing himself, slowly and bravely he reached his hand out to take over the gift package from Dazai. Then he immediately took a step back once the package was secured on his arms, mumbling, "Thank you, Mr. Dazai."

"Thank you, Mr. Dazai," echoed Atsushi energetically. The boy then turned to wretch the package from his younger brother.

Dazai stood up. He hummed, "Chuuya actually manages to teach his children manner, huh?" Chuuya tried not to feel insulted. Then Dazai focused his attention back to the twins. "You're welcome, kids."

"Ryuunosuke," scolded Ryuunosuke, getting full-control over Dazai's gift back from Atsushi. "My name is Ryuunosuke, my brother is Atsushi, and we are not some _kids_!" continued the black-haired seven years old defensively, which immediately earned him a stomp on foot from his older brother—which Chuuya took as an indicator to Atsushi's annoyance for being declined the gift _again_. If Dazai was not here, Chuuya was sure Atsushi's going to bite Ryuunosuke and a cat-fight would ensue.

Dazai unexpectedly laughed out loud. "Sorry, then, Ryuu- _chan_ , Atsushi- _chan_!"

Chuuya stopped the outrageous laugh by smacking Dazai's back—hard enough to make Dazai yelped. "Anyway, where should we eat tonight?" he asked.

"Eh? We are not eating at Chuuya's place?" Dazai exclaimed in disbelief and disappointment.

"You took too long to come here." Chuuya glanced at the clock—five in the afternoon. "There is no time to cook."

"I don't mind simple cooking."

"Well, _I_ mind it." Using a gesture, Chuuya told the twins to get their backpack and stuff. They obeyed immediately. "You are a guest and I can't just offer some ordinary food to guest, right?" Chuuya had actually planned to make turmeric rice for Dazai but he wasn't sure the brunet could appreciate the delicacy so he had wanted to ask Dazai in person for his preference, however seeing the time, there would not be enough time to make anything fancy.

"As uptight as always," Dazai commented. "Reminding me of Kunikida- _sensei_."

Chuuya froze. Kunikida- _sensei_ 's name unexpectedly felt like a trigger for him. A lot of things were forgotten, but he remembered that not long after Kunikida- _sensei_ passed away, Dazai left also—leaving him, _alone_. He could only gain his composure back knowing that nothing from the past should be regretted. Being as a successful boutique owner who had great family and friends, the Nakahara Chuuya that was standing here right now was only possible because of his past relationship with Dazai.

"Yeah?" Chuuya turned to face Dazai—realizing he hadn't faced Dazai properly after the man passed the threshold.

Blue met brown in a staring contest.

Dazai blinked in front of Chuuya's confident gaze. "Yeah."

"Papa!" It seemed that Ryuunosuke and Atsushi had finished packing their books. "We are ready!" Both barreled onto Chuuya's legs while asking dinner's menu—Ryuunosuke suggested chicken curry and Atsushi wanted cake— _no we can't eat cake for dinner, Atsushi_.

"Chuuya," Dazai called.

"Hm?"

"If we can't eat at yours, what about eating at mine?"

It elicited a surprised reaction from Chuuya. Surprise was an understatement actually. Eating at Dazai's place meant either Dazai cook, someone in Dazai's house cooked for them, or merely eating take-out at Dazai's place.

First, if Dazai cooked, Chuuya shuddered imagining the food. There's no way he would let his children come near Dazai's cooking, nevermind eating it. In Dazai's defense, he might have improved, but Chuuya wouldn't risk it.

Second, if Dazai was actually living with a decent cook, it might be awkward—not for Dazai per se, but for Chuuya and his children. _Because_ what if whoever that _decent cook_ was, they were Dazai's significant other? What if the brunet had already had wife _and_ children?

Last, eating take-out and eating out, what's the difference?

"Of course, Chuuya will be the one cooking," Dazai continued before Chuuya could brusquely refuse.

Chuuya impulsively said, "We better eat at my place if that's the case." Only when Dazai's lips formed a smirk did he realize he had been played right into Dazai's palm.

"Good! It's decided then, let's go!"

# # #

As usual, albeit later than the usual, Chuuya drove to a grocery store before going home. Extraordinarily unusual, he had a passenger next to him. It was Dazai, who for some reasons only he could fathom decided to tag along in Chuuya's car instead of following using his own. The redhead was already getting headache imagining the shopping trip.

"Just so we are clear, I'm not driving you back to the boutique to get your car," Chuuya warned, glaring from his peripheral.

"Don't worry, I have someone to pick the car and me later," Dazai assured distractedly, peering outside the window.

Also unusual, Chuuya's chatty fiends were silent all the way home. In the first place, the twins didn't like initiating friendly conversation with strangers. However, they often ignored their surroundings to fight and banter with each other. Well, now they were being silent with their eyes glued to the back of Dazai's head—Chuuya glanced through the rear-view mirror.

As Chuuya caught the sign of supermarket, he pulled over. As expected, it felt like an adult shopping with three children instead of two adults and two children. Dazai was as noisy as the twins for wanting so many unnecessary products or ingredients. To be able to reach the cashier before the clock hit seven just to buy stew's ingredients—and some snacks courtesy of Dazai and the twins—was such blessing and miracle.

They arrived at Chuuya's apartment around a quarter past seven. In the parking basement, Chuuya instructed Dazai to carry all the groceries bags while he held both Ryuunosuke and Atsushi's hands. The twins started to say how their stomach had been growling all the way to their apartment.

"Be patient," Chuuya admonished the twins as he opened the apartment's door.

Dazai whistled immediately upon seeing the photographs in the hallway. His focus zeroed in onto every picture of the twins. It then morphed into a fond look as his saw the one childhood photograph of him and Chuuya. It made Chuuya slightly curious of Dazai's opinion toward the display.

"Come on, Dazai," Chuuya called the awestruck man after he ushered the twins to clean up.

Heeding Chuuya's words, the brunet came along to the kitchen and put the groceries onto the table. Dazai glanced around his surrounding—ignoring Chuuya who told him to separate the groceries—and his sight fell on the scribbles on the refrigerator's door.

"Oh, what's this?" Dazai observed in curiosity.

One of the doodles pinned with magnets there was a picture of four stick figures. It was a family picture seeing two shorter sticks were drawn resembling the twins—not to mention the names written under the figures were a giveaway already. One of the adult figure was drawn having red hair, and above the figure was written 'Papa', so it couldn't be other than Chuuya. The remaining adult in the picture, though, had brown hair and entitled 'Father'.

"Father?" Dazai inquired.

"The twins' father, obviously," Chuuya explained without looking at Dazai, busy putting his apron on. "The other father, I mean. Another biological father." Then he started to separate the groceries since it took forever to depend on Dazai.

"The other father," Dazai raised an eyebrow. He stepped aside when Chuuya nudged him away from refrigerator as the redhead was going to store the groceries inside it. "And where is he right now? I did not miss any photo of him, did I?" He pointed at the hallways with a flick of glance.

Chuuya paused on his task. "He is out of the picture," finally he answered. It was spoken curtly and almost nonchalant. There was no way he could tell Dazai that the _father_ was actually standing next to him. Chuuya could feel that Dazai was not satisfied with his answer. Fortunately, the twins entered the kitchen at perfect timing.

"Ryuu! Atsushi!" Chuuya called, holding back his relief. "Take Mr. Dazai to your room, will you? Wait there patiently. Once the food is ready, I will call." He turned to prepare the ingredients.

Ryuunosuke and Atsushi both knew not to disturb their Papa when he was cooking. They had learned the lesson in the hard way—that they had their Father's talent on ruining a cooking resulted on a very disturbing tasted meal—so they nodded at Chuuya's words and tugged the complaining Dazai out of the kitchen.

Just as they passed the doorway, though, the twins giving each other a conspiring look. They glanced at Chuuya to make sure their Papa still had his back on them before their sight glided towards the snacks on the table—the one Chuuya hadn't saved into the cabinet. After giving Ryuunosuke a nod, Atsushi tiptoed to the table with hand outreach. Before he could snatch the prize, unfortunately…

"No snacking!" Chuuya warned without looking back.

The twins' shoulder immediately sagged in disappointment. Once again, Chuuya foil their attempt to experience snacking before dinner—the thing Steinback had bragged often in class. Even though Chuuya had said Steinback was a loser for bragging about such naughty attitude, Ryuunosuke and Atsushi's pride just couldn't take being looked down by the class' troublemaker.

"Woah, your papa must have an eye on the back of his head," commented Dazai, who was pulled away by the pouting and huffing twins.

"He must," agreed Atsushi. "We can never steal a snack every time Papa is in the same room."

"Even when he isn't, he can always tell," added Ryuunosuke, letting Dazai's hand go to open their room's door. "It's like he has predicted it every time."

Dazai laughed dryly. "It comes from experience, I guess," he mumbled remembering his troublemaker past-self. Dazai was sure Chuuya's experience came from dealing with him.

Dazai looked around the twins' room. It was painted with a gradation of blue and white. At the one side of the room were two single beds in black and red cover. On the bedside table put between the beds was a family's photo with Hirotsu- _san_ , Hirotsu's niece, and Lucy Montgomery—taken on their summer vacation to a beach—there was no _the other father_ , as far as Dazai could comprehend, because he would bet his house and cars that Hirotsu- _san_ was not the one. On the right side of the beds, right in front of the door, there's a bookshelf full of children's books. On the opposite of the beds was a sofa, big enough for a family to huddle and cuddle together, and a blanket was folded on top of it.

Then he was led away from his observation as someone tugged on his pants.

"Mr. Dazai," called Atsushi.

Dazai crouched down. "Yes?"

"Would you read us a story?" asked the white-haired boy shyly.

Dazai tilted his head. "A story?"

"Yes, to fill the time. Papa likes to take his time when cooking," Atsushi explained further in nervous excitement.

"Here," Ryuunosuke who apparently had been looking around their bookshelf for a storybook shoved the one he was searching for toward Dazai's hand.

Dazai examined the book he received from Ryuunosuke. It was _La Petit Prince_ —the Little Prince. A nostalgic thought made a solemn smile rise on Dazai's lips. The book looked quite ancient with its yellowish page, definitely a remnant of the past, but it was taken care of well since it was still in a good shape. He remembered he had made a certain red-haired boy cry reading the book to him.

"Okay!" Dazai said cheerfully. "Make yourself comfortable then!" he instructed.

The twins scrambled onto the sofa, each taking the edge side of the furniture. Dazai stood up and followed. As cued by the non-verbal signal, he took a seat between the two boys. "You know what—" Dazai said before starting the story. "—I used to go to an adventure like the Little Prince."

Dazai intended the words to bait the twins' curiosity. Instead, he was surprised when one of them responded, "Yeah, we know." Then the other continued, "Every time Papa reads us that book, he always compares you to the Little Prince."

Dazai took a gulp— _Chuuya was telling his children about him? And comparing him to the Little Prince, apparently._ "Chuuya knows me so well," Dazai said in dry amusement. "Now, should we start?" he asked the twins.

Following the twins' eager nods, he opened the book and recited the first page.

Starting from the middle of the story, Chuuya, who had just finished his cooking, secretly joined the reading. At first he just wanted to tell them that the food was ready, but he was caught by nostalgia instead and decided to eavesdrop beyond the door—marveling once again at things that could have been. He just stood there for a minute or two—not enough time to make the dish cold—and let himself be drowned in the nostalgic voice of Dazai's storytelling. It was with half-hearted smile when Chuuya knocked on the door, disturbing the peaceful flow of the Little Prince's adventure, to tell his beloved that dinner was ready.

Later at dinner table, enjoying the beef stew Chuuya had made, the twins gushed excitedly over how good Mr. Dazai as a storyteller. They were so impressed. They also conveyed their wish to listen to Dazai's own adventure. All the time the twins were recounting, Chuuya had difficulty averting his eyes from Dazai who was listening attentively to the twins. Hirotsu- _san_ 's words echoed in his head.

" _Give him and yourself a chance_."

# # #

In the middle of work, Chuuya's phone rang. Fortunately he wasn't dealing with any customer. He was working on some administration work when it came. Mind you, he never ignored a call in case it was an emergency—after all he had two demon's spawns prone of trouble—what if the call was from school? When he saw who the caller was, though, he groaned in exasperation.

 _Dazai Osamu_.

Oh, did he regret giving his number to the man. It might be his first call, yet Chuuya could already foresee Dazai calling him at inconvenient time only for unnecessary matters. Chuuya was really tempted to reject the call but didn't want to risk Dazai's incessant complaint later, especially now that Dazai had known his address. So, he picked it up half-heartedly with a suffering sigh.

"Chuu-ya~!"

Chuuya immediately put the phone away from his ear. "What? Why are you calling? Aren't you working," scolded him.

"It's lunchbreak," Dazai replied. " _So_ , would you like to have a lunch with me, Chuuya?"

"No," Chuuya answered immediately.

"Then, have dinner at my place?"

"No!" Chuuya refused more vehemently. "In case you don't remember, I have two children to be taken care of!"

"Come on, Chuuya. You can ask Ms. Montgomery or Mr. Hirotsu to keep an eye on them."

"Can't you understand a simple _NO_?"

"No." Why did Chuuya ever love this man-child again? "Anyway, I'm already in front of your store. So, let's go get a lunch before I harass your cute assistant. Right, Ms. Montgomery?"

"WHAT?" _Crack_. Oops, Chuuya accidentally snapped his pencil into two.

There's a static where the phone moved into another hand. "Mr. Nakahara?" It was Lucy's voice. "You better go get your lunch with Mr. Dazai or I will personally deliver my resignation letter. Right. This. Instant. I am not willing to be harassed by a sleazy man like him."

"You heard her, Chuu-ya~" The phone moved back to Dazai's hand. "Oh, she said to take our time and not to worry about the twins. She will ask Mr. Hirotsuto pick them up. And don't worry about work either, Ms. Montgomery can handle the store by herself."

Chuuya gritted his teeth. Of course Lucy could, the store was basically handled by her most of the time. "Fine!" Chuuya finally said between tight lips. He stood up and reached for his coat from the rack. "Fine. Just wait there so I, _God help me_ , can kick your shin."

Dazai laughed. "Because you are too short to smack my head. Got it."

Before Chuuya could yell at him, the call was ended.

Chuuya actually needed five seconds to calm himself. It was not working. Five seconds passed and he still felt so annoyed he took a run down the stairs and charged toward the awaiting Dazai—standing with his back on him—with an intention to kick his shin like promised. What he did not expect was Dazai turning around and readily caught him in an embrace, his longer arms giving him an advantage.

Chuuya gave a muffled huff as he fell onto the fluffy fabric of his own coat Dazai had caught him within.

"Chuu-ya!" Dazai tightened his embrace—enveloping the shorter man further into the coat—and rubbed his face on top of Chuuya's head fondly. "You really never have changed. Not only is your temperament, even your breathing pattern still the same."

Surely, Chuuya was flabbergasted. Until his eyes caught the rapid flash of Lucy's camera. "Lucy!" he shrieked in warning. Immediately, he elbowed Dazai's stomach and wriggled his petite body and coat out of Dazai's limbs.

Lucy actually dared to raise an eyebrow smugly at him before tauntingly said, "And sent!" as she tapped the screen to send the picture to Hirotsu.

Chuuya snatched the phone to check that, indeed, Lucy had captured the picture of his hug with Dazai and sent it to Hirotsu. Already, he could imagine Hirotsu's knowing smile and Higuchi's squeal. Then he glared to Lucy in betrayal only to find his assistant giving a thumb up to Dazai—it made him scoff in disbelief.

"Send it to me later, Ms. Montgomery." Dazai plucked the phone from Chuuya's hand and gave the communication device back to Lucy—winking teasingly.

"Now!" Dazai put his hands on Chuuya's shoulder. "Let's go before a dragon sprouts his fire of anger."

Waving at Lucy, Dazai pushed Chuuya out of the building. Chuuya, being led to Dazai's car quite forcefully, shouted one last reminder at his secretary to pick the twins from school—he then entered the sporty vehicle with a slam to the door.

The ride to their lunch date was entirely filled with one-sided conversation because Chuuya was sulking and refused to participate on any conversation Dazai tried to attempt. Secretly, though, the rusette-haired noted what a good driver Dazai had become.

Dazai pulled over when they arrived at a café. It was not far from _Rain in June_ , but the area was the one Chuuya rarely visited. The place itself was nice, decorated with glass wall. There was a balcony for anyone who preferred terrace seat. The contemporary design was balanced with a lush garden.

Dazai and Chuuya took a seat inside, next to the glass wall providing the patrons with flowery scenery. Once seated, they didn't talk much except to the waitress who asked for their order—Dazai took a chance to flirt with her and Chuuya hated himself for feeling the need to remind himself that Dazai was not his. The silence ended when a man who seemed to be Dazai's acquaintance came to their table for a greeting.

"Ango!" Dazai stood up and gave Ango a brief hug. Ango looked totally uncomfortable receiving Dazai's affection. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in one of your business trips. Join us for a lunch!"

"Us?" Ango's attention glided to the sitting Chuuya. "Your weekly girlfriend?" he raised an accusing eyebrow at Dazai in disapproval.

Chuuya gaped. Dazai still had that habit of playing around? No, wait. More than that, he should be concerned about being mistaken as a woman. Dazai's weekly girlfriend nonetheless. Excuse you, Chuuya was different from Dazai's fling and flirt. He whipped his head toward Dazai, glaring to the man who was outright laughing full of mirth.

Ango furrowed his forehead in confusion. Did he make a wrong assumption?

"A-ango," Dazai hiccupped the remnants of his laughter. "Let me introduce you to Nakahara Chuuya, Miss Elise's personal dresser." Understanding and panic settled on Ango's expression simultaneously, internally hoping the man was not offended by his careless misunderstanding. But there was a hint of confusion also, wondering about the reason why Dazai was meeting with Ms. Elise' personal dresser personally. "And Chuuya, this is my colleague, Sakaguchi Ango. He works with me for Mr. Mori."

Haltingly, Ango took a name card from his pocket and gave it to Chuuya. "Ah, hello, Mr. Nakahara. I am Sakaguchi Ango. Nice to meet you."

Chuuya took a pity on Ango and received the card with a stiff smile. Anyone who could scold Dazai about his bad habit must be the victim of Dazai's reckless lifestyle themselves. Chuuya could even bet Ango acted as Dazai's caretaker for quite some times during Chuuya's absence in Dazai's life.

"I am very sorry for mistaking you for Dazai's lover, Mr. Nakahara," Ango apologized as he took a seat with them at the table because of Dazai's insistence. Dazai himself was calling a waiter passing by to order Ango's coffe. "No offense, but you have acute resemblance with his preference, so I just assumed."

 _Ho_?

"Oh, right," Dazai suddenly joined in, cutting Ango's words. "Chuuya didn't know because you refuse to accompany me to the front of apartment, but Ango was the one who picked my car last Monday. At that time, he also thought I was visiting a lover. Even though I was just seeing a dear childhood friend I haven't seen for years. Really, Ango can only think badly of me."

It explained the reason for the meeting to Ango at least.

"I believe Mr. Sakaguchi is justified," Chuuya defended Ango and scolded Dazai instead. "After all, isn't he the one who did the damage control over the troubles your irresponsible cassanova ass causes?" It had been a long time since Chuuya let his foul tongue ran out, but the idea that Dazai hadn't changed his bad habit after all these years made it loose. He didn't exactly think or hope that Dazai would be a righteous man when they met again, but for pertaining that bad habit of him, Chuuya was truly disappointed.

"Waaah, Chuuya is angry at me!" Dazai hid his face behind Ango's back in false distress.

Ignoring Dazai's childish behavior, Chuuya turned to Ango. This time his smile felt more genuine. "I thank you for taking care of Dazai, Mr. Sakaguchi," the father of two children said. "Also, in his behalf, I apologize for any trouble he has caused you."

Ango could only awkwardly nod at the beautiful man in front of him.

Seeing their interaction, people would never know that Dazai and Chuuya were just reunited recently after eight years of no contact. They would even immediately assume that Ango was the newcomer in the circle. Not exactly wrong, but neither Ango nor most people knew about the childhood friend's dynamic of relationship. The good thing was even if Ango knew; he was not going to be insulted over such thought, because being Dazai's closest friend means more suffering. As Chuuya had stated, Dazai was a man-child who needed a caretaker, and Ango would gladly push that role to someone else.

The waitress Dazai had been flirting with came not long after that, bringing out their orders. Chuuya couldn't help putting a sour expression when the young girl winked seductively at Dazai. She deliberately pushed a napkin closer to Dazai's side, and Chuuya was sure it contained her number. Ugh, unless they were into that sugar daddy trend and stuff, what did those girls see in an old man like Dazai?

"Do not seduce a girl you aren't actually interested into," Ango warned Dazai when the waitress had been out of hearing range.

It perked Chuuya's interest. Ango had said something about preference. So, was it him who fulfilled Dazai's standard, or was it the girls Dazai had bedded that was simply looked like him? Well, Chuuya was not as naïve as his friends thought, he was just too fixated on Dazai. All this time, he was aware of his good looks, but he never thought that Dazai was interested on it, therefore he never considered about his features as a purpose to entice people. However, it was too early to determine Dazai's opinion on him.

Chuuya could at least determine from Ango's words that Dazai hadn't married yet for whatever reasons. It meant his children didn't need to prepare themselves to meet a stepmother—yet. Breaking the news to Dazai would be easier too without the burden of having another family unit. The only thing left was for Chuuya to think how he should break the news.

"Oh, right." Chuuya suddenly was reminded of a question he really wanted to make sure. "Dazai!"

"Hm?" Dazai hummed, mouth full of a big bite of sandwich.

Even Ango turned his head toward Chuuya in curiosity, sipping his cup of coffee.

"By any chance, do you have any illegitimate children?"

Fortunately Dazai and Ango didn't choke on their meal and beverage. They simply froze with their eyes staring judgingly at Chuuya because the redhead just uttered that question in a complete nonchalant attitude as if whatever the answer would be unimportant—similar to one asking about weather.

Dazai and Ango unfroze around the same time. Dazai continued to chew his food while Ango decided to put his cup down but kept his silence as it was not his right to answer. Chuuya was waiting for one of them to answer the question with expectant look.

"No, I don't have any," Dazai finally spoke after swallowing his sandwich. Slowly. Carefully. "Why do you think I would even have one?" Chuuya rolled his eyes as answer. He was tempted to say, _because you already have two_. "You can ask Ango. He will tell you that I have none!" Dazai pouted seeing Chuuya's distrustful gaze.

"Actually, I am not sure myself," Ango betrayed Dazai's expectation. "Because you know, Dazai."

"Right, because _Dazai_ ," Chuuya nodded sympathetically.

"Hey!"

Chuuya and Ango let out a camaraderie smirk at each other on Dazai's miffed expression and intensified pout. Bullying Dazai was fun since it was such a rare thing to be done. Also it reminded Chuuya of the days they had spent with Kunikida- _sensei_. Kunikida- _sensei_ always had thousand and one way to make Dazai listen to him.

Chuuya's phone rang at that moment. It was a LINE messagefrom Lucy. After excusing himself to Ango—he could care less about Dazai—he opened the message and a photo of the very upset Ryuunosuke and Atsushi greeted him. The red rim around their eyes indicated that either they had been crying or on the verge of crying. _They miss you_ , written under the photo—it was the first time Chuuya didn't pick them up by himself from school. Half-guilty and half-touched, Chuuya's typed, _Papa will be home soon_.

Not a second after the message was marked 'read', Chuuya's phone vibrated announcing an incoming video call.

" _Here, it's connected."_ Lucy's voice was the first thing Chuuya heard from the video. The screen itself only showed the scenery of his office before it shook a little when Lucy gave it to the twins. _"Do not drop it or I will eat half of your lunch next Sunday."_

Then there were sounds indicating that Lucy's leaving the office.

" _Papa!"_ The twins' faces crowded the screen. They looked quite upset, indeed, with their cheeks puffing and resembling chipmunks. Chuuya felt guiltier as he found his children even more adorable looking sullen like that. Maybe Dazai had rubbed him in the bad way. _"Why didn't you pick us up?"_

Chuuya apologized. "It was because Mr. Dazai had kidnapped me." He rotated the phone so it shot Dazai to prove that the choice of not being with his children would never be voluntary.

Dazai waved goofily at the twins.

Then the phone rotated back to Chuuya.

" _Why didn't you wait for us?"_ Atsushi whined.

" _You definitely should have waited for us!"_ complained Ryuunosuke—he elbowed Atsushi out of screen and glared at his Papa. _"You shouldn't go on a date without telling us!"_

Chuuya was going to deny the screeching accusation but Dazai—who had moved his chair next to him—beat him to it. "As our apology, we will buy you two cakes," Dazai promised, appearing in front of the camera. Chuuya couldn't even say anything before Dazai took over his phone. "What do you want us to bring you?"

Atsushi immediately jumped at the idea. He pushed Ryuunosuke out and started to list all the cake he wanted to eat; tiramisu, strawberry shortcake, apple pie, lemon bars, pudding bread, and the list went on. It was simply amazing of him to know the names of all sweets on earth. Although it bewildered Chuuya more that Dazai smiled and nodded at all of them recognizing the names, _as if_ he really was going to buy all the sweets Atsushi had listed.

"How about you, Ryuu- _chan_?" Dazai somehow remembered that Chuuya's son was not only Atsushi considering how much attention he had given to Chuuya's white-haired boy.

" _I don't want any cake,"_ Ryuunosuke sulked behind Atsushi, only his back of head was visible on the screen. _"If you are going to be sorry, you should have not kidnapped Papa from us. You… you should not leave us behind."_

Atsushi became a little down after hearing Ryuunosuke sulk. He realized that even if Dazai Osamu had only come into their lives a week ago, their Papa's attention was gradually shifting to the man. Eventually, they were afraid, Dazai Osamu would steal Chuuya completely from them. It made both of them sniff in tears.

Seeing his babies in an obvious distress, Chuuya snatched the phone immediately from Dazai.

Ango observed the conversation silently. He saw how peculiar Dazai acted around Chuuya and the children. Truth to be told, he was surprised that Chuuya was a parent of two children. Reflexively, Ango's brain connected it with Chuuya's concern on Dazai's parenthood status, and a suspicion rose. However, if his suspicion was true, he wondered why Dazai kept silent—nothing that Ango could recognize would ever escape Dazai's keen mind.

Ango fixed his attention back to Chuuya who was trying hard on consoling his crying children. Then Ango's attention shifted when Dazai moved closer to Chuuya and once again crowding Chuuya's screen of the video call.

"Ryuu- _chan_ , Atsushi- _chan_ ," Dazai said in a tone that commanded attention from his conversation partners. He put a hand on Chuuya's shoulder, silently asking the man to give him a chance to calm the twins down. Now, not only Ango's eyes that were trained to Dazai, but Chuuya's and the children's also. "How about we spend some time together next time? Want to go to the aquarium? Just the four of us; you two, Chuuya, and I. How about it?"

The twins' sadness lessened hearing Dazai's words—they were still sniffling, but at least they were no longer bawling. After a second or two, they nodded amicably. _"Do you promise?"_ they demanded. _"You can't leave us again, okay!"_

Dazai smiled became softer and his eyes were swimming in tenderness. It was a nostalgic expression that made Chuuya envious towards his children, as it was a smile he could rarely invoke from the childhood friend. On the other hand, for anyone who only knew Dazai for the last eight years—Ango for example—it amazed them that the man they only knew either as annoyingly childish or cold-hearted was actually capable of showing such side.

"I promise," Dazai told the twins with conviction. His hand on Chuuya's shoulder tightened. "I will never leave you guys again."

# # #

The twins' cry alerted Lucy into rushing towards her boss' office—God knew what Chuuya would do to her if something bad happened to his twins. As she arrived in front of the door though, she paused. She could hear Dazai's phone-filtered voice before the twins' cry actually lessened. She decided to not enter the room and just observed how Dazai would handle the twins' tantrum—she wanted to know whether her choice to give Dazai a chance with Mr. Nakahara was worth it or not.

Her boss was like a brother to her already.

Oh, they had no dramatic past. She applied to get the job, got accepted, and worked her hardest. Mr. Nakahara was a sensible boss and paid her well, so there was no reason for Lucy to feel dissatisfied about what she was doing for the store. As they interacted with each other during work, Lucy came to know several things; that despite his track record of tardiness, Mr. Nakahara was a hard worker himself; that he was also your typical stupid parent who liked to brag about his children at any given time, which was a quality Lucy didn't hate; and that her boss was a tough guy when she heard the man's past and struggle from Mr. Hirotsu. Along with the time, their relationship as employee and employer deepened—they took care of each other and would be there should any one of them needed help.

When Dazai Osamu had stepped into the store, Lucy could actually see fate unwinded. The way Mr. Nakahara's eyes followed Mr. Dazai's figure, the men's interaction that screamed secret longing, and Dazai's jealousy when she had stepped closer to Mr. Nakahara; those were enough giveaway for her to make a certain conclusion. Mr. Dazai was the man her boss had been waiting all this time—the father of the adorable demon-spawns.

The fact that Dazai hadn't immediately recognized the twins told Lucy that Ryuunosuke and Atsushi's existence was an unknown fact for Dazai. The man hadn't been aware that when he left Nakahara Chuuya, he wasn't only leaving a childhood friend but also his children.

Well, as Lucy could see that Dazai hadn't abandoned the twins voluntarily and there was a probability that Mr. Nakahara still had his affections for Mr. Dazai, she thought why not give them a chance to gain their long-due happiness. That's why, when Dazai promised he would not leave the twins ever again, Lucy knew she had made the right choice.

# # #

It took several weeks before Dazai could finally fulfill his promise to take the Nakahara Family to the aquarium. The two adults' busy schedule didn't give them enough free time to make the trip. In compensation, Dazai often visited Chuuya's apartment for a little tea time—or a dinner that ended with them tucking the twins into bed together. Sometimes, Dazai would even spare his time to help the twins working on their homework. Slowly but surely, Dazai's presence was integrating into the family—carving a special place no other had been before.

When Dazai and Chuuya had finally cleared their schedule, their aquarium trip took place on a clear Saturday. Since the twins still had school, but only half-the-day, they went from _Rain in June_ after lunchtime.

They saw various fishes, played with dolphins, and visited the theme park. The twins were really eager—the adults nearly had no energy to catch up. After some persuasion, they finally agreed to take a break on a nearby restaurant. It could also be counted as early dinner.

Near the restaurant was a souvenir store. Some of the merchandises there caught Chuuya's attention—he wanted to buy some for Lucy, Hirotsu, and Higuchi. As they waited for the their food, Chuuya asked Dazai to keep an eye on the children while he went to the store—to be honest, he was not sure he made the right choice by entrusting the twins to Dazai, but well, Dazai had proved himself to be quite capable of handling children (which fueled Chuuya's suspicioun that Dazai had had another child—Chuuya would actually be fine if Dazai had another child, the twins would be happy to get a new sibling).

Unexpectedly, at the souvenir store, Chuuya met Dr. Yosano Akiko—the very doctor who had helped him delivered the twins.

"Chuuya!" The familiar voice of Dr. Yosano propelled Chuuya to turn around—he saw Dr. Yosano was parting the sea of people in order to approach him. "Hey, how have you been? How are the twins?" Dr. Yosano gave the young father a hug. It had been quite a long time since the last time they met each other—approximately six months ago when the twins were undergoing their annual health check-up at hospital.

"We are good." Chuuya returned the hug.

As Dr. Yosano was the family's doctor, Chuuya and she were pretty close. Even back when Chuuya was still working at _Black Camellia_ , they liked to have tea together every time she visited Hirotsu- _san_ for the elderly's monthly check-up. Unfortunately, both of them had become quite busy to spare some time aside from the necessary and thus ceased the pleasant companion. It was almost a surprise for Chuuya to find the female doctor in such a place.

"Where are the twins?" Dr. Yosano looked behind Chuuya, expecting the spoiled twins to cling on their papa's pants. "Or don't tell me…. are you here for a date?" she asked teasingly when she didn't find the children. She had meant it as a joke, but, her eyes widened in shock when she saw a faint blush on Chuuya's cheek. "Seriously?" she asked in disbelief.

Dr. Yosano knew that Chuuya didn't date. Or hadn't dated—apparently. It made her raise an eyebrow wondering what kind of person could actually distract Chuuya from his devotion toward his twins.

Chuuya himself didn't think of this outing as a date. He thought of it in a more outrageous concept. He dared to think as if Dazai had become part of family— _as if_ Chuuya and the twins had been accepted as Dazai's family—even though he hadn't told Dazai the fact that the twins were his children. His main concern over this relationship was whether Dazai could accept the them or not, and not even Dazai's closeness with the twins lately could erase the fear of being rejected—he just couldn't imagine how heartbroken the twins would be if that happened.

"The twins are at that restaurant," Chuuya said ignoring Dr. Yosano's remark, tilting his head toward the restaurant he left Dazai with Ryuunosuke and Atsushi. Seriously, it was the more accurate saying instead of the otherwise—leaving the twins with Dazai. That man could get more childish than the actual children.

"And you would never leave them alone," Dr. Yosano crossed her arms and nodded solemnly. A teasing grin then appeared on her face. "So, who is the lucky girl?"

"There's no girl, Dr. Yosano," Chuuya told her sternly.

"Lucky boy, then." Chuuya was tempted to facepalm. He should have known that Dr. Yosano wouldn't let the topic go that easily. "Anyway, you should introduce them to me! Come on!"

She pulled on Chuuya's arm toward the restaurant. Luckily, Chuuya had finished his merchandise shopping, so he went with Dr. Yosano's demand without much protest.

"Ryuu- _chan_! Atsushi- _chan_!" Dr. Yosano exclaimed as she spotted the twins. The man with the twins was sitting with his back on her, but he turned around along with the twins when Dr. Yosano called them. She whistled looking at Dazai's handsome features. "You choose right, Chuuya," she whispered at Chuuya briefly before dashing to hug his favorite patients.

The twins jumped and returned Dr. Yosano's affection with equal force. Even though they remembered Dr. Yosano as the one to give them painful shots, after that she would also give them sweets to sooth the pain, so they didn't hate her.

"And… who is this?" Dr. Yosano inquired playfully when Dazai stood up in greeting.

"Dazai Osamu," Dazai introduced himself with a perfect gentleman smile. He offered his hand for a handshake. "Nice to meet you."

"Hello, Dazai Osamu." Dr. Yosano accepted Dazai's hand. "It's nice to meet you too—oh~" She then let out an impressed sound when Dazai brought her hand to his lips and put a chaste kiss on its back.

The meaningful glance she threw at Chuuya made the red-haired nearly visibly cringe. Dr. Yosano thought Dazai was being sweet. Chuuya knew better that Dazai was just being his womanizer self—nothing worthy to be noted.

After that, Dr. Yosano decided to join them for lunch and she spent nearly the entirety spoiling the twins. Somehow, Chuuya got the feeling that she was trying to give Chuuya and Dazai some personal bonding time without needing to worry over the twins. Dr. Yosano's plan was not working because for some reasons, Dazai instead felt competitive over the twins' attention. Chuuya was left observing everything in silent amusement.

"Does your Papa feed you alright?" Dr. Yosano asked as she fed a piece of Moules Mariniere to Ryuunosuke. Ryuunosuke only answered with a single nod since his mouth was busy chewing on the food. "It's a good thing that both of you have no allergy whatsoever," Dr. Yosano continued fondly, back to scrapping another piece of the clams delicacy, this time for Atsushi. "But don't eat just everything. You can get stomachache for eating carelessly."

Other than Moules Mariniere, they also ordered Garlic-Grilled Shrimp. Dazai was eating them sullenly as he couldn't feed the twins. Dr. Yosano and he had decided to start a brief argument over nutritional balance in which the winner would be the one to feed the twins. Dazai lost. It was so satisfying to see someone was actually smarter than Dazai.

"Chuuya too," Dr. Yosano directed her scolding toward the parent now. "Don't spoil them too much," advised the one who was spoiling them right now—yeah right, totally convincing. When Chuuya was blatantly ignoring her advice, she narrowed her gaze in reprimand. "I am serious Chuuya. You're still young. Once in a while you should focus on yourself and let your friends take care of the twins."

Dr. Yosano only stopped his meddlesome habit— _why were all of Chuuya's friends like this?_ —when she started on her own meal. Dazai happily took over the duty to feed the twins their dessert.

Once the twins finished their set of meal, Chuuya led them to the restroom for a clean up, leaving Dazai and Dr. Yosano as the sole occupants of the table. Observing Chuuya and the twins as they walked away—in giddy steps and joyful interaction—Dr. Yosano blurted suddenly, "It's nice to see them so healthy and energetic."

Dazai swiped his gaze following Dr. Yosano's line of sight. Seeing the little family filled with a rush of adoration and a drop of envy. Chuuya and his children currently looked like the epitome of happiness.

Chuuya was lifting Ryuunosuke's body by the hands, making the boy squeal excitedly. Then Atsushi crashed into Chuuya's leg and smeared some food stain around his mouth onto the denim as a prank, to which Chuuya responded in a playful glare. When Ryuunosuke followed his brother's example, though, Chuuya was forced to chase after the two running away children toward the restroom. All the way, wide smiles never left their face.

"It's almost hard to believe—" Dr. Yosano's voice stole Dazai's attention once again. It was no more than a murmur, intended to be spoken only for oneself, but Dazai caught the whisper of it. "—that they nearly didn't survive the labor."

# # #

They came home from the trip exhausted.

While Dazai was holding the sleeping twins in his arms, Chuuya tried to open the lock of his apartment. The click of key sounded like a relief to the two adults—their exhausted state really showed their age. Even though there were two of them, keeping up with the twins' excitement was not an easy feat. Entering the apartment, Chuuya immediately led Dazai to the twins' room—Dazai might have known where it was, but obviously the man would need some help seeing both of his arms were out of commission at the moment.

After tucking the twins onto their respective beds, Dazai and Chuuya retreated to the kitchen for some refreshments. The atmosphere was tense. Both knew that an important talk was going to take place in Chuuya's favorite room. They might have something different in mind, but to their surprise, it would be shockingly linear.

Chuuya immediately went to heat up the kettle and Dazai decided to occupy himself by observing the doodle on the refrigerator. Tracing one of the twins' creations, Dr. Yosano's words haunted his mind. There had been a chance this picture wouldn't even exist here—that he could have lost Chuuya and the twins without ever knowing anything—and Dazai was almost surprised at how terrifying he found the idea to be.

The kettle whistled briefly. Then there were clings of utensils. The aromatic fragrance of black tea pervaded around the kitchen, cutting loose some of the tension. Dazai had come to associate the warm aroma with his small talks with Chuuya, Atsushi, and Ryuunosuke, and unconsciously his body relaxed some. When cups were placed on top of the dining table, Dazai turned around.

"I was looking for you," Dazai blurted out-of-the blue. "Three years after we separated, I finished my study in France, and I went back to our hometown," he elaborated without any prompt, before reiterating with a slightly bitter tone. "I was looking for you."

Chuuya's hands trembled slightly around his teacup hearing the confession—making the calm surface of the black tea rippled for a second—and wide azure eyes slowly trained toward Dazai. When Chuuya was sensible enough to finally put the remaining cup onto the table, it was not as smooth as he wanted. The sound of porcelain hitting the wood was sharper than what either of them preferred—it cut the thick tension like a knife.

Trust Dazai to just drop a bomb like that. The last time Dazai informed him of going abroad had been like this too. Chuuya had thought that he could follow Dazai, accept Dazai's offer to come with him, and had nearly asked to be brought along once he finished his obligations in their small hometown. Fortunately, before Chuuya could confess and embarrass himself, the man told him his plan first—of going abroad for his scholarship study for indeterminate time.

Chuuya really needed a seat dealing with his emotion, so he sat down and rested his head onto his hands. "Why?" he asked. _Why were you looking for me? Why are you telling me now?_

Dazai walked toward the table and pulled out the chair opposite of Chuuya's. He sat down.

He waited with folded hands until Chuuya held his head up, blue eyes staring straight into his brown. "Simply," Dazai started. "Because I can't let you go anymore."

Letting Chuuya go _twice_ was hard. Each farewell hurt.

The first time it happened, Dazai decided to never come back, because if he couldn't see Chuuya, he didn't need to relive the pain of saying goodbye over and over again. There was a saying— _you can't lose what you didn't have_. Unfortunately, he had underestimated Kunikida- _sensei_ 's relentlessness and was forced to face his fate. Seeing Chuuya welcoming him home to _Soseki's House_ sparked a realization—he was stupid if he thought he could run away from this love.

The second farewell, Dazai decided to not look back. He knew eventually he would be back to that person he considered home, but at that moment closure was a priority. That being said, he still missed Chuuya every second in his life.

Coming back to the small hometown and finding it devoid of Chuuya… it was hard to describe his feeling. Was it regret? Was it emptiness? He was not even capable of feeling the ache. He could track Chuuya if he wanted, but decided not to—after all, hadn't it been him asking Chuuya to move on?

Dazai had moved on with a shrug then.

Unfortunately, he could never escape the imprint of blue eyes and red-hair.

He had thought that pursuing the dream of his deceased brother had been the most important thing for him—worth leaving his rest haven—in a gamble to fill the inexplicable yearning in his heart. As it turned out, losing Chuuya gouged the emptiness deeper. Fleeting rendezvous from one copy to another who would never be Chuuya didn't help.

Then fate, who loved to play with Dazai's heart, had brought him to a pastel world where Nakahara Chuuya dwelled. The mere sight of Chuuya was enough to close the void inside Dazai like nothing could before. Engaging in the familiar flow of conversation reminded Dazai of familiar contentment he had always associated with Chuuya.

Dazai made his mind. Happiness must be having this person in his routine.

He was determined to rebuild the bridge, flirting his way back into Chuuya's grace. But then Ryuunosuke and Atsushi had appeared like a fluff of black and white. It went without saying, Dazai's heart sunk into a sea of dread and jealousy. It could only be lifted by remorseful relief when Chuuya confessed he raised the twins by himself and was not involved with anyone currently.

Dazai's determination burned into a fiery roar.

The fact that Ryuunosuke and Atsushi were Chuuya's children had already made them precious enough to Dazai—even if his stomach always churned from the idea that anyone aside from him had held his Chuuya. Imagine his surprise when he visited the Nakahara's apartment, then, to find out a possibility that the twins were his. It felt like being punched right in the gut. It would be funny to think he had been jealous of himself if not for all the negative emotions swirling in his chest.

He had left to be better.

But in the end, he hadn't changed, had he?

Now was the time to change.

"Therefore, Chuuya," Dazai continued smoothly, as I he hadn't just relived eight years worth of emotions. "Would you give me another chance to be your family? Would you let me be there when you and our sons need me?"

Chuuya was stricken. He moved his mouth but no sound escaped. Giving up on trying to say something, Chuuya instead reached for his cup of tea and gulped a fair chunk. The hot temperature scalded his tongue, but finally it made him calm.

"Since when have you know?" Chuuya asked.

"I've had the inkling since I visited your apartment the first time." Chuuya wanted to scoff. It wasn't a surprise that Dazai had figured it out that early. "The math nearly matches. The photos and doodles raised my hope up. Their mannerism—" at this, Dazai put a very fond look. "—reminded me of our younger days. Anyway, even if I made the wrong assumption, I have already thought of the twins as my own children. I would be glad if I didn't, though."

Chuuya let out a heavy sigh. "No, you didn't. The twins were premature."

Even though Hirotsu- _san_ had been quite attentive, Chuuya's mental stability had been in disorder. Stressed, lonely, worried. Even if he had been healthy, death had always been the worst case scenario. Not to mention he had carried the twins in quite a young age—not too young, but still young.

"Chuuya," Dazai's voice interrupted Chuuya's nostalgia. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Chuuya straightened himself. "To be honest, I have been asking the same question all these times," he answered. "And I remember something just now. It was my belief—,"

Dazai had said once that he couldn't love Chuuya—it may or may not because Dazai was incapable of loving himself. There was a vortex inside Dazai, but to put it simply, Dazai thought love needed to be earned—Chuuya couldn't agree more—yet at the same time the brunet also thought how undeserving he was no matter how hard he worked for it.

This pitiful child Chuuya held dear saw himself as a reflection of his late brother. The love he craved was the one he wouldn't ever get—because his ambition and goal was not his. He was lost.

"—that there was a demon inside you—"

Chuuya was as lost as Dazai. He would always give up before even trying to be loved. He personally believed he was going to be left behind nonetheless. His parents, Kunikida- _sensei_ , Dazai, his friends, even the twins—everyone would leave him eventually. It could be said that he had resigned himself to be always left behind. Unfortunately, his resignation was not balanced by a lesson learnt— _do not love_. After all, didn't it hurt the most when the one who left was someone we love? But, well, he couldn't find it in him to regret those loves.

"—you felt inadequate of loving anyone while struggling with your past. Thus, I decided not to tell you." Chuuya looked up with determined and fierce gaze. "I am sorry I was thinking badly of you, but I was trying to do my best for those children."

It was selfish. It sounded like a justification. It was a belief.

Dazai took a stuttered breath. He waved his hand signaling he didn't take offense of Chuuya's opinion. He knew he brought it to himself. But there was no denying it hurt.

"If I said I have made peace with my past?"

"Then I am glad for you." Who was Chuuya to judge the truthfulness in Dazai's statement? Only time would answer Chuuya's doubt. He could only hope that Dazai had truly learned to love himself, because Dazai was a lovable person. Yes, even with all his infuriating behavior and all his faults. "The twins will be happy to have you in their life."

"What about you? Are you going to be happy to have me in your life?"

"Right back at you, shitty Dazai."

"You are my home, my sanctuary, and the only place I can be truly happy."

Chuuya frowned. "Why? I was never there when you needed me the most. I can't even understand your suffering."

"Neither was I—being there for you or understanding you. So, what do you say about starting now?" Dazai took Chuuya's hands into his. If only they were not separated by the table, Dazai would envelope Chuuya in his embrace. He would kiss those eyelashes, cheekbones, and tip of nose, before he rested his head on the crook of Chuuya's neck. All the while playing with Chuuya's red hair like what he had used to do, feeling those smooth tresses between his fingers. "I am ready to devote myself to you."

Firstly, though, Dazai would be satisfied if Chuuya just hold his hands back.

# # #

The rest of the night was spent talking over a pot of tea about past and future, the missing eight years and the twins, and them. Time passed so fast and they only realized it was a new day when Chuuya's phone alarm rang—it was time to prepare breakfast. Dazai offered his help. Chuuya accepted—and was fairly surprised at Dazai's improvement in cooking—at least now the brunet could rinse the rice.

When it was the usual time for Chuuya's favorite scenery, Chuuya stopped the preparation and went to turn off the lamp and opened the kitchen's curtain. It was still dark outside, but sun would rise soon enough.

Dazai voiced his curiosity, but Chuuya just told him to sit down while he made four cups of hot chocolate. Right on cue, when the soft orange glow of sunrise started to peek on the horizon, the twins woke up and were immediately lured to the kitchen by the sweet smell of chocolate.

They were quite confused to see Dazai had been spending the night in the apartment—it was the first time they had someone sleepover at their home. Atsushi received Dazai's presence quite enthustiacally though. Ryuunosuke was happy too, but there was a cautious look on his face—he looked at Chuuya worriedly, fearing something wrong.

In response to their confusion, Dazai smoothly explained that he had some talk with their Papa, and suddenly re-introduced himself their father. He also apologized for taking so long to meet them. At first, the twins were stoned. It was nothing they didn't know before, but they just couldn't believe they could finally call Mr. Dazai 'Father'. Only after Chuuya encouraged them to greet _their father_ , they did enthusiastically jump to hug their Father. "Welcome home," they said.

"I am home," Dazai replied, hugging his children back.

Chuuya observed from the side as the morning's sunlight illuminated the figures of his precious family. Well, that was until he took an initiative to approach them. He gave each of them a peck on cheek, including Dazai. Atsushi giggled happily, Ryuunosuke scowled and rubbed his cheek on Dazai's shoulder—both were perched on their Father's lap—while Dazai and Chuuya traded shy-turned-cheeky smile.

Outside, the sun shone brightly on this Sunday.

 _The End_

.

.

.

But their life continued on….

"Gin!" Chuuya announced as he cradled the newborn baby-girl in his arms. For the second time in his life, he could be care less about his appearance. His hair was sticking on sweaty temple and his face was pale from hours of labor. However, there was pride on his face as he looked at the newest addition in his family. "Her name will be Gin."

"Okay," Osamu amended, taking a seat next to Chuuya on the bed and put his arms around his husband. The brunet's eyes were red after worrying about his husband all night. "Nakahara Gin it is. Hello, Gin- _chan_." He poked the baby's cheek with index finger, making her face scrunched in discomfort.

Even though Osamu's tone of voice was light, he was not as calm as his outward appearance suggested. Knowing Chuuya had been in near-death experience when delivering the twins didn't help easing Osamu's worry—fearing the similar outcoume from this time's labor. However, Dazai didn't only keep worry, there was also joy. He had missed the birth and early childhood years of his sons, which he regretted deeply, hence to be able to witness his daughter's birth and growth from the very start made him want to weep in happiness.

Chuuya's train of thought was similar. He had raised the twins by himself for years. It was not like he had been unhappy raising Ryuunosuke and Atsushi, he just couldn't help but felt the ache of not having Osamu by his side in those years. Now, Osamu was here to hold his hand in sorrow and joy, and everything was better.

They were building a family together. Hopefully, a happy one. Because both Chuuya and Osamu wished for nothing but the happiness of their children—together, they were going to protect and guide Ryuunosuke, Atsushi, and Gin as best as they could.

 **The Sun Shines Brightly on This Sunday - End**


End file.
